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Syringe and spoon found in 16 year old stepdaughters drawer.

(62 Posts)
LittleWhile Wed 26-Mar-14 16:25:38

Yesterday I found a tea spoon and a narrow syringe tucked away in a cosmetic bag in my stepdaughters drawer, when I was tidying the carnage of her bedroom, while she is at her mothers house. I was immediately alarmed and suspect drug use or at least intention of drug use, so I mention it to her Father. He hardly reacts, and then today says there is probably some rational reason for it, and says he will ask her. He doesn't seem at all bothered, and laughs when I mention possible drug use. She has (non) eating issues, anxiety and depression, which lead me to suspect drug use may be a possibility. He sees no reason to be concerned. Today he suggests that she be allowed to "study" at our house while we are away on holiday, next week, which I strongly object to, as I don't feel comfortable letting her have unsupervised access to the house, while we are not there. She says there is too much distraction at her Mothers house caused by her Mum and her brother. I feel she should ask her mum and brother to be quieter, so can study or maybe go to a library! or use earplugs! Her father and I have now had an almighty row because I feel he doesn't listen to me. He says she should be allowed to, and if she messes up, he will deal with it. I'm imagining all sorts going on in my home, while we are away, if she has a key! He doesn't believe she shouldn't be trusted. I feel undermined and as if I'm catastrophising. Am I being unreasonable or over-reacting? I've been a 16 year old girl and I've also had a 16 year old daughter, so I'm basing my reasoning from experience, but I now doubt my own judgement. Help!

SauceForTheGander Wed 26-Mar-14 16:29:01

I'm struggling to think why someone would have a syringe and a spoon if not drugs - and not your "lesser"
drugs either.

Beastofburden Wed 26-Mar-14 16:30:21

Teaspoon and syringe are not great signs. I think you are right to be worried.

Try to get your OH to see it in terms of risk to his daughter, not in terms of risk to the house. So it/s not that you don't want her on your territory messing the place up. you are worried that she might overdose with no help at hand.

Though of course, the fact that she keeps ehr gear at your place suggests it won't be her first time while you are out of the house hmm

I would go to see your GP and then report back. TBH, if he is already irritated, telling him that MN thinks he is BU won't help much.

BitOutOfPractice Wed 26-Mar-14 16:33:51

I don't think you are over-reacting OP. If I were her dad I would be beside myself with worry

I hope you can talk some sense into him

BettyBotter Wed 26-Mar-14 16:37:29

I'd be very worried about the syringe and spoon. Why isn't your dh concerned? (Is he sticking his head in the sand, naive, uncaring or stupid?) [genuine question]. What rational explanation could there be according to him? From your description of dsd it sounds as though she may be vulnerable to drug 'risks' .

As for her using your house for revision, I'd say ... pick your battles. What's your concern here exactly - her safety or your household security or something else?

If I were on your shoes, I'd be more concerned that my dh appeared to be so blase about his dd's potentially serious issues.

Beastofburden Wed 26-Mar-14 16:41:05

Have you thought of dobbing her in to her mum? she might be worried even if DH isn't. of course that might casuse another massive row... but if her safety is in question.

if I found that my DD had been keeping her drugs gear at her dad's house and nobody told me, I would be terribly upset.

HeartsTrumpDiamonds Wed 26-Mar-14 16:41:08

Very worrisome, both your find and your DH's reaction. Can you be there when he talks to her about it?

I would feel uneasy about leaving a 16 year old with unsupervised access to an empty house. It makes no difference whether she is a step or not, it would be the same for any 16 year old.

claraschu Wed 26-Mar-14 16:46:12

My teenager thinks this is very dodgy. Was it a hypodermic syringe? Possibly for injecting something horrible?

What does she say this is for?


Kudzugirl Wed 26-Mar-14 16:46:57

Is the bottom of the spoon blackened or discoloured? If so this would definitely show that somebody has used it to cook up a drug with. I'm sorry Little but I find it hard to imagine why else she would have it.

In my opinion., sixteen is too young to be left for a week in sole charge of a house anyway not withstanding the concerns about drugs.

Kudzugirl Wed 26-Mar-14 16:48:45

Also if it is a 1ml Diabetic syringe, these are generally used by people at the beginning/earlier stages of drug use. If they develop a tolerance and need larger amounts of the drug to get good effect, then the 2ml or 5ml syringes with push on needles will be used.

Selks Wed 26-Mar-14 16:49:25

Did the teaspoon look like it had been burnt or scorched, OP? Have you noticed any small bits of used foil in her room? Did the syringe have a needle attached or look as if it had been used?
Any of the above would indicate strongly hard drug use, which is very concerning.

Selks Wed 26-Mar-14 16:50:52

Why would your DP not be concerned about this? Struggling to understand.

MrsDeVere Wed 26-Mar-14 16:51:04

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Kudzugirl Wed 26-Mar-14 16:52:54

If it is a 1ml syringe it will be one integrated unit with no removable syringe.

Kudzugirl Wed 26-Mar-14 16:54:15

Posted too soon-

If pills are crushed then you will need a larger syringe and barrel, a 2ml or 5ml and above because 1mls get blocked. The size of the unit is a clue to what it is used for.

Branleuse Wed 26-Mar-14 16:58:01

are there any remnants of anything in the spoon. If so, is it whitish, or is it brownish?

LittleWhile Wed 26-Mar-14 17:04:33

Thanks all! A tricky one this, as DD is the apple of her fathers eye.
The spoon was not burnt or discoloured, but when I googled this I learned that it could be used to mix the contents, not cook them, and to suspect cocaine or speed. So still worried.
I did think about telling her mother, but wanted to let DH know first. I would want to know if I were her mum.
It is a narrow syringe that I bought to feed a baby bird my son found with. I think she took it from the kitchen drawer, there was no needle with it. Why would she have taken it without asking if it wasn't significant? And why the spoon? I would like to be there when her father discusses it with her, but I know it will be traumatic, as she will be outraged at being suspected, wether she is or isn't doing anything untoward. I feel like the wicked step-mother.

NigellasDealer Wed 26-Mar-14 17:06:18

ok so it is sounding a bit different now - a clean spoon and a syringe that was yours, that has no needle?

Kudzugirl Wed 26-Mar-14 17:09:40

If there is no needle with it and it is a stray so to speak is there any chance that she might be placing this in her belongings to attract somebodies attention?

I had a client who did indeed do this. They did it as a cry for attention and to look more knowing than they were to impress a drug using lad they wanted to attract. This in itself is still worrying because there is a high level of possibility that she will be vulnerable to actual drug use in the future.

eatmydust Wed 26-Mar-14 17:10:51

She's not vaping is she? DS uses a syringe to fill his posh ecig. Although admittedly he doesn't hide it. Some of the expensive ecigs which appear to be the local craze are difficult to fill.

Kudzugirl Wed 26-Mar-14 17:12:32


Wicked stepmothers don't care enough to post on here asking for help flowers

KellyHopter Wed 26-Mar-14 17:14:18

I think it's more likely attention-seeking/acting out dramatic scenarios, even just on her own, than actual drug use.

MrsDeVere Wed 26-Mar-14 17:15:17

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

BettyBotter Wed 26-Mar-14 17:16:30

Perhaps she's at the stage of thinking 'Well fuck'em all. I'll have a go at drugs then,' but hasn't actually stepped over the brink. I hope very much for her sake that you might be able to catch this before she does anything dangerous.

But Littlewhile, seriously, what's going on with her father?

NigellasDealer Wed 26-Mar-14 17:17:55

drug use is so rife these days isn't it?
back in the 70s at that age i had a stash of Cocktail Sobranies and a long cigarette holder, must have used it once?
if that is any help.

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