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DD is gnawing at my last nerve

(17 Posts)
mrsjay Mon 24-Mar-14 09:38:11

bit of a moan really and possible advice, dd2 is 16 and is starting to be a PITA to get up in the morning she is tired grumpy and often late this morning she got up got her school clothes and went to get dressed took her 40 minutes to do so angry what the hell is she doing for 40 minutes putting a shirt and trousers on this is all before she goes to the bathroom

I just leave her to get on with it now I have tried talking to her getting her up earlier she just goes back to bed I try and not shout and moan at her falls on deaf ears and it just ends up an arguement . SO what do we do to sort this she is obviously not sleeping very well at night

FantaSea Mon 24-Mar-14 09:51:44

Just a thought - is she on her phone late into the night? My DD(17) is often very grumpy in the morning and I suspect it is because she is texting half the night.

Is letting her be late for school an option for you or would that interfere with you being on time for work?

Is this her gcse year? I can understand why you are concerned. No real advice really, just sympathy - they do know how to test you at this age.

mrsjay Mon 24-Mar-14 09:55:07

we put the router off but i hate taking her phone off her at this age we used too maybe i need to take it off her again
yes i let her be late but she is never that late she gets in trouble iyswim ,this is her Highers years (scottish A levels) thanks for replying it is so frustrating isn't it

Cerisier Mon 24-Mar-14 09:58:11

My DC know that if they ever can't get up in the morning then will take their phones off them and switch off the wifi at 10pm. Just the threat has meant it has never happened.

Pulling on some clothes doesn't take long, I bet she is getting back into bed then leaping out when she hears you coming.

HolidayCriminal Mon 24-Mar-14 09:59:02

Last yr of GCSEs?
If she still gets to school, however badly, then you have to detach.

FantaSea Mon 24-Mar-14 10:02:20

It is frustrating - now my DD is nearly 18 I am trying to step back a bit and think that is she is dead-tired as she is on her phone all night then she will have to deal with the consequences, but I would have felt very differently when she was 16. I am not very techie but I think they can access 'the cloud' if they have wifi on their phone which doesn't need a router - I'm not sure about this one. Also you don't need a router for texting.

Now and again I break through with DD along the lines of 'oh you look so tired, why not have a nice bath and go to bed early' - she occasionally goes for it, but that is only for a night.

It is so hard isn't it?

mrsjay Mon 24-Mar-14 10:04:23

If i want her to have a decent sleep i am going to have to take the phone off her again not sure why i though there is a big difference between 15 and 16 I think i might do it again on a school night anyway sigh i really thought had this cracked

Nocomet Mon 24-Mar-14 10:40:24

My 16y DD has now learnt to go to xbed when she is tired, but it took her from 12-15 to do so.

No point in removing her, phone or lap top, reading was her downfall.

mrsjay Mon 24-Mar-14 10:42:07

she goes to bed quite early I have always had bedtimes IYSWIM and they could read for a while I just don't know what is that important that they cant just go to blooming sleep at night,

chocoluvva Mon 24-Mar-14 18:05:14

I sympathise - my 17.5YO DD was the same until two or three months ago. She had her 6th year privileges withdrawn as she wasn't even getting to 10 o'clock classes on time.

Apparently teenagers don't make the sufficient levels of melatonin until later than children and older adults so they're not ready to go to sleep until really late. And until recently DD seemed to think that getting to sleep by a reasonable time is only for boring people. So many of them are on FB, twitter etc making a point of being seen to still be up really late. Now she makes a big thing of getting into comfy jammies/'lounge-pants' etc as soon as she gets in from school sometimes and likes to tell people that she was sleeping early.

We didn't take DD's phone off her, but it probably would have helped - unless she bought herself another one, which she might have - very stubborn girl.

Does your DD do much exercise? My DD lived too far from school to walk and gave up her keep-fit class, so that won't have helped either.

So your DD will be sitting her highers in a few weeks. I'd try telling her that she can go to bed when she likes if she can be more sensible until the end of her highers - it's only two months till they'll be done.

FantaSea Mon 24-Mar-14 18:23:51

I think that is a good point - there was a huge thing when DD was about 16 of being on facebook chat really late, and if that didn't attract sufficient attention, of posting things so everyone would know how late they were up.

mrsjay Mon 24-Mar-14 19:15:24

she does exercise she walks to the few milesschool and walks the dog most nights I see what your saying about being up late being the done thing dd1 didnt have facebook at 16 well she did but her phone was pretty rubbish . so no to taking the phone of her then leave her be and try and talk to her about getting enough sleep to fuction seems to be the general feeling smile I can go with that thanks for letting me rant

chocoluvva Mon 24-Mar-14 23:13:10

It's so frustrating.

Zoezeebo Mon 24-Mar-14 23:19:04

From my personal experience i am also a young mother of 19, i cannot lie, when i was 16, i was up all night, on my phone on twitter, bbm etc, so take the phone away and give it to her during the day but for night get her a alarm clock bc then shes not tempted.

mrsjay Tue 25-Mar-14 09:11:56

oh well she was up with the bloody lark even had time to put a bit of a face on and enjoy her breakfast instead of shovelling toast down as she left, I said to her last night you looked really pale and washed out this morning maybe you should have an earlier night it can make you look ill if you don't get enough sleep, so we will see if it works she was even singing god teenagers are exhausting grin

chocoluvva Tue 25-Mar-14 09:26:36

grin I like your style mrsjay - oh dear, you're not looking your best DD. I told DD that someone who is yawning and looking knackered isn't good company/attractive. Nothing seemed to work with her though

mrsjay Tue 25-Mar-14 09:36:12

we will see dd1 wouldnt have cared either but i cant remember her being this bad but i did have 2 of them to get out to school maybe i didn't notice .

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