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teenager being secretive

(7 Posts)
cwazycaz Wed 19-Mar-14 19:33:07

I noticed teenager hiding screen on laptop when I walk in. I suspect "youtube" videos. became very defensive when I asked what's happening. also texting manically friends when I tried to questions "hiding" behaviour. Confiscated mobile but concern as a parent what is all the secretive behaviour about. should I be concerned?

Innogen Wed 19-Mar-14 20:00:46

No, you shouldn't be concerned.

A part of becoming an adult is having a private life.

Spinaroo Wed 19-Mar-14 20:03:45

Not uncommon. However, every so often I make my daughter let me have a sift through her phone etc. - I think they need a watchful eye at that age.

Innogen Wed 19-Mar-14 20:04:48

We don't know what age though...

A thirteen year old, yes. But I wouldn't be going through a 17 year olds phone.

cwazycaz Wed 19-Mar-14 20:14:33

13 years old...what surprise me the most how defensive she was...it didn't look like homework

littlegreenlight1 Wed 19-Mar-14 20:51:43

It probably wasnt homework. But that doesnt mean its something awful, my kids (14 and 16) are addicted to their devices. I make them put them away at dinner but at the same time make sure theyre always charged so I can get in touch.
You kinda just have to look out for other signs and hope they are being truthful. Ive looked through my kids messages when they were younger and wished I hadnt - crazy teenage stuff we have already forgotten we went through.
Its not abnormal (certainly not in this house anyway!)

cory Thu 20-Mar-14 06:48:49

It may have been something totally inappropriate which would have made you hit the ceiling. Or it may simply have been a private message to a friend which she couldn't let you see because it was ... private.

At this age they are becoming more and more like adult in that they distinguish between private and public conversation. I am sure you send emails and have conversations that are perfectly harmless but that you wouldn't let your mother or your boss earwig on. Should we be concerned about your secrecy?

At 13 it is a very fine balance between respecting their privacy and protecting them and sometimes we do have to breach privacy for the sake of their protection. But the behaviour itself is perfectly understandable; it's what we all do. They are becoming more like us (scary thought!).

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