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Worried about 19 year old daughter

(8 Posts)
gail44 Wed 19-Mar-14 13:05:22

Before I start, I'll apologize for the long post.
Brief history about my daughter.
Always been quiet but popular. a follower, not a leader.
Never really had a 'best' friend as such, just joined in with a group.
Did well at school, passed all exams. Never had any problems with her.
Never really went out much unless she was asked to the cinema or parties, which she would gladly go to and have a good time.
After leaving school all the group went their separate ways to different colleges. My daughter made a group of new friends, but things stayed basically the same as her school days, still staying in and only going out occasionally. She left college last May and decided uni wasn't for her so she's now doing a dental nurse apprenticeship, which she loves.
During the summer holidays last year she started seeing some of her old school friends occasionally who introduced her to a lad who later in the year became her boyfriend. All the family liked him and she was really happy, then two weeks ago he fell out with her. She seems to have got over it ok even though I know deep down it still hurts her but she's coping with it.
Now to the problem.
She doesn't go out anywhere. All her friends have moved on, either gone back to uni or have boyfriends of their own.
Her work colleagues are all older than her.
She does do kick- boxing on a Wednesday night but there's no one there in her age group.
All her life consists of now is going to work, coming back at 6, having dinner, going in the shower, getting into her pyjamas then watching tv or going on the laptop until it's time for bed.
She seems happy enough at the moment but I really worry that she's missing out.
How is she ever going to meet anyone if she never goes anywhere.

gail44 Thu 20-Mar-14 09:44:45

Thanks for all your helpful replies!!!!!!!!!!!!

I've had more success on digital spy advice.

So Thanks for nothing!!!!!!!

Driveway Thu 20-Mar-14 09:53:45

She broke up with her boyfriend two weeks ago and hasn't been socialising much since then?
That just sounds... kind of normal?
If all her friends have moved on to uni, give her some time to meet new ones, I don't understand why you are so worried. She works, has a hobby... It's a lesson to learn not to rely on your partner for everything, she's young, she's probably learning it now if breaking up with him has left her a bit aimlessly drifting around. That's a good thing really.

wannabestressfree Thu 20-Mar-14 10:16:48

Aggressive much...

VenusDeWillendorf Thu 20-Mar-14 10:27:23

Wow, you seem very angry! Do you think mn is some kind of agony aunt who MUST reply within a few minutes? You left it a day before you blasted us!! smile


I think you need to relax about a lot of things, not just your introverted daughter. She sounds like she's a late bloomer, maybe get out a bit more yourself?

Martorana Thu 20-Mar-14 10:32:21

Ignoring the bizarre attack from the OP- I honestly have to question this "I think you need to relax about a lot of things, not just your introverted daughter. She sounds like she's a late bloomer"

What on earth suggests to you that she is introverted? Or a late bloomer?
Not all 19 year olds are wild party animals- and she has just split up with her boyfriend. Sounds perfectly normal to me!

thinking101 Thu 20-Mar-14 10:37:45

I think she sounds fine, when friends have been here who she knew she was socialising and has had her first boyfriend.

She has a good job/training and a hobby, seems very healthy all round.

FWIW - I never had a best friend and drifted between friendship groups and still seem to. She will soon discover 'going out' and then you'll be worried about a whole lot of other stuff!

Give her some time to get over her Bf.

Just a thought....you dont know who she chats to online either...she may make friends this way, safe ones her own age I mean.

smokeandglitter Thu 20-Mar-14 10:46:17

Sometimes when people move on there aren't many things to do in order to meet new friends. If she's doing an apprenticeship is she being paid much? That may have something to do with it. I'd say it's ok to worry but give her a while to settle in to this period of her life and start to socialise more with other people, she probably needs some recoup time after the fall-out.

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