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Nearly 16 with weight issues

(8 Posts)
allo2101 Sun 09-Mar-14 17:52:13

My younger daughter, nearly 16, is very conscious of her weight, in particular her thighs (which are quite chunky, sorry, but true) She's forever moaning that she's huge in comparison to her friends - she's a bit bigger than them to be fair, but they're all very skinny! She looks lovely though and is most probably a size 12 at most, but is very self conscious about her legs. I cook healthy meals etc etc but then she goes and buys MacDonalds, sweets, makes huge amounts of chocolate milkshakes at home etc etc.

Have heard of great new nutrition system from US called Body by Vi, suggested we both try it, not to lose weight necessarily, but just to feel healthier, more energy etc etc - lots of people take it to bulk up so it's not really a weight loss thing. Of course she has now gone off in massive sulk saying I think she's fat etc etc. Can't win. Doesn't help that her elder sister, nearly 18, has said, "Mum, you called her fat." I didn't!! I just said that she'd probably feel good on this regime. Damned if I do and damned if I don't! Expect to be flamed for this but just want her to feel as good as she can about herself and she's obviously unhappy so trying to help! I am not quite sure how to go about this more tactfully.

FernieB Sun 09-Mar-14 18:40:03

Firstly, I would be wary of a nutrition system - if it involves taking any kind of supplement/pill/drink as they are generally just chemicals and you really don't want to be putting that junk in your body.

Secondly, if she's only a size 12 what's the issue? She's clearly not that bothered if she's eating sweets etc. she's just a teenager and most of them seem to moan about something to do with their appearance. Your DD just moans about her weight. Sounds like she's fine and it's just something to moan about. Leave her to it.

Thirdly, you cannot say anything to a teenage girl without accidentally calling them fat. I know from experience that an innocent comment about maths homework can be interpreted as my saying they're fat confused

bigTillyMint Sun 09-Mar-14 18:43:55

Does she do any exercise? If it's just her thighs that are an issue, maybe that would help her tone up?

On the other hand, she may just have muscular thighs, like mewink

Don't go down the chemicals route - she "just" needs to stop eating crap!

specialsubject Sun 09-Mar-14 18:48:46

why doesn't she stop eating too much crap? She isn't fat at the moment but will be if she keeps doing this.

why use some scammy 'nutrition system'? Why not just eat proper food? Quite surprised that as an adult and a parent you would even think of ordering 'nutrition systems'.

size 12 isn't fat unless she is four feet tall. And some people just have bigger thighs. I do, for instance, although I'm not fat, and have never worn tiny shorts because I don't have the legs for them. Nobody's perfect.

bigTillyMint Sun 09-Mar-14 19:00:38

Agree specialsubject, she doesn't sound fat, it's just that she doesn't like her body shape.
We all have muscular thighs in our family. DD thinks hers are fat - she does a load of sport - they are NOT, they are definitely muscular and powerful - She is a size 6-8 FFS.

sinningsaint Tue 11-Mar-14 16:32:29

This sounds exactly like the situation i was in with DD2 last year. Since year 7 has she pretty much kept gaining weight and it had got to the point last year where she was a size 12/14, not massive but definitely overweight. I myself am overweight but have lost a lot through slimming world so meals at home etc are always healthy but like yours she buys herself a load of crap! Me and DH had subtly tried helping her but to no avail and were on the verge of giving up. However after christmas (as soon as she wasn't eligible for a free place at slimming world) she suddenly became interested in losing weight and went on to lose 10lbs. The problem now is that it has come to a stand still as she is finding it hard keeping up the workout regime she had started whilst revising for exams, has however just promised she is getting back into it tomorrow as wants to lose around another 16lbs by june! If your DD doesn't see it as a problem at the minute leave it for a while and she might just come roudn to the idea herself smile

specialsubject Tue 11-Mar-14 17:04:50

while clothing sizes are not standardised, size 12/14 is NOT overweight unless you are very short.

so she is looking at a 26lb weight loss in total. Two stone. Is this right???

sinningsaint Tue 11-Mar-14 18:10:50

She is 5'1 and was 11 and a half stone. Doctors had also recommended she lost weight as it was starting to impact her health (bad hips/knees) and together they decided on the ideal weight of 9 stone 6lbs. For me i would be ecstatic to be a 14 as would many people, but for her personally whilst not life threatening it wasn't healthy.

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