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Pre teen woes

(6 Posts)
Twolup Sun 02-Mar-14 20:37:59

So my sin Calvin has always been confident ( maybe to much) happy energetic and well adjusted, that is until lately. How can a child like above go from that to exact opposite in 2.2 seconds?
First it started that his stomach hurt and he just did not want to do anything. Even things he lives with friends. The stomach thing kept up and we took him to Dr who DX him with acid reflux.
Ok that's been dealt with. Now another situation is he had a friend that was always threatening suicide. Calvin sometimes told sometimes not. Either way he was the bad kid. We suggested he might want to distance himself from him. He did now he seems to think all his peers are mad at him. In the mean time there is another kids who has come into his group of peers that I have not been so crazy about, but thought I would just keep an eye on it. When he was friends with the suicide kid , him and Calvin went to this new kids house for a few hrs. A month later Calvin is more withdrawn and aggravated easily.
I thought I would check out his social media stuff. What I found was this new kid was intagramming Calvin's group of peers that he was going to dry hump the pull his thing out and stick it in their mouths. Red flags flew up in my mind. I already had heard the suicide kid said he was bisexual and now this. My mind gets to racing if maybe they experimented and Calvin is feeling guilty? Calvin also said maybe his stomach was hurting because him and his friends ( not these kids mentioned) have been masturbating and were afraid they were going to go blind. We discussed that and we asked about the possible experimenting. We told him it was ok he is at a curious age but if feeling guilty that's a lot to carry around. He said no. I shared this with some of the parents I am close to about the Instagram conversation and they were like ughh I never trusted that new kid. Said they were going to tell their boys that they were not to encourage a friendship with him.well I still have a boy that is clearly going through something and I am worried. Any thoughts?

AgentProvocateur Sun 02-Mar-14 21:04:23

So, you snooped on a boy's Instagram, gossiped about it to other parents, and now they're going to tell their children not to be friends with the boy? Have I got that right?

Also, did you do anything about "suicide kid" other than tell your son to keep away from him? Did you let the school know that a pupil was feeling suicidal?

I can't quite believe your attitude.

Twolup Sun 02-Mar-14 21:20:08

Well let's see. I did not snoop I told my son to open up his insta gram. After seeing that I called the scoops social worker and she suggested that I let the parents of the kids involved in conversation know about it. The kid that is suicidal has been doing this for a year now. First time my son showed me the letter about his dad punching him and he wasted to commit suicide. I gave that note to the principal. This kid made Calvin's last part of school last year awful. He accepted the kids apology and they were friends again up until this last time. I am sorry if you think it is a terrible reaction but I feel this relationship is to stressful on my son. We have and will continue to help if we see we should. You can coincide with people and not necessarily have a friendship. This is kind of why I hated to write. Words are misconstrued because there is no voice behind it.

Twolup Mon 03-Mar-14 17:06:08

Agentprovocateur, no response to the more detailed post I left? I am surely open to advice, even if I need to change something. I am not shy on making mistakes that's for sure and I do not judge on little info.

AgentProvocateur Mon 03-Mar-14 19:38:14

You don't say what age your son is, but it honestly sounds like you / school / friends are creating a very stressful situation for him. If I were you, I'd report my concerns to the school and let them deal with it. I'm not sure what country you're in, but no social worker I've come across would have advised you to tell the other parents. I have no doubt that your son's peers who are no longer allowed to play with the boy will have told him that and blamed it in your son. Perhaps he's being ostracised in the playground?

It all sounds like a very pressurised environment.

Why not "report" your post, and ask for it to be moved to the Teenagers or Preteens section. You have posted in Bloggers Chat by mistake, and it is a vary quiet board.

Twolup Mon 03-Mar-14 23:34:14

He is 12 and no one us not being friends with this boy at school. More than that conversation is based in the parents not wanting the kids to go to his house. Yes I posted here by mistake.
I think the social worker is thinking it did not happen at school but on a social media or ones house that maybe she feels it's not her place to get involved.
Thanks for the input and I live in MI

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