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My child is going into temporary foster care

(4 Posts)
janeyyyy Fri 28-Feb-14 12:40:10

I am a regular but have name changed as this is so sensitive.

My son is 16. He has a history of self harm (has stopped), attempted suicide (a year ago) and regular suicide threats. Last weekend he went out to drop his CV off at a local cinema then walked into A&E saying he was concerned about his own safety. They admitted him to paediatric ward as there's no adolescent mental health unit. He is still there while they try to find a foster placement. He and I have agreed that he cannot cope with living at home just now as it is making him more stressed, also I have told social services that his presence is putting the wellbeing of ALL of the family at risk and that we cannot have DS home at present until he is well enough.

As you can imagine, this has been a terribly hard and very distressing time for all of us. I am in pieces. DS seems ok with spending some time away from home. He has not been getting along with any of us well, but has particularly struggled with his stepdad, my DP. DP has admitted that he has handled some things badly (he has been an absolute star in most, and a tower of strength for me and DD) and there has been more frequent conflict between him and DS recently.

Apart from the depression (which is still not being treated, other than through talking therapies, unfortunately) there is another massive issue going on. DS is transgender, and was born female. He has been living as male since last summer after finishing high school. He has made new friends at sixth form, is widely accepted as male and has not encountered any prejudice or bullying as far as I know. The school are also very supportive. DS is so brave in dealing with all this and I have told him so many times how much I respect him for the way he has handled things. He can, however, be very militant about LGBT issues and this makes things difficult on occasions.

I don't even know what I'm posting here for really. My parents and friends have all said that this is the right thing for DS and all of us right now. I guess knowing that makes it a bit easier, but I still feel like I'm drowning.

whereismywodka Fri 28-Feb-14 14:28:28

don't know what to say - just offering an open ear and sympathy! With these massive issues no wonder he is depressed. I wish you all the best.

Mintyy Fri 28-Feb-14 14:30:46

What treatment are they giving him for his depression? Do you think any of it is drugs related?

whohasnickedmyvodka Fri 28-Feb-14 14:36:55

Janeyyyy I have just had to do the same thing my self the sw has just been here and I have signed the paperwork please pm me if you want because I know how you are feeling

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