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Living in their bedrooms.

(42 Posts)
Onesieone Sat 15-Feb-14 21:39:31

I have a dd aged 12 and a ds aged 14. They spend the majority of their time in their bedrooms! I'm so fed up with it. If I make them
Stay down with us all I get is attitude and huffs!
How long do ur teenagers spend in their rooms. Or How can I turn this around. I miss their company! It isn't healthy to be closed up in their room all that time.

Sparklingbrook Sat 15-Feb-14 21:41:23

DS1 (14) permanently in his room. He's happy. hH has all his gadgets and Skype, and the TV. He doesn't want to come down and sit with us fuddy duddys. grin

Sparklingbrook Sat 15-Feb-14 21:42:19

Oh and DS2 is 12 and spends loads of time downstairs with us, dictating what we watch on TV and being LOUD.

Amandine29 Sat 15-Feb-14 21:44:40

Most teens do this, they will come round in a few years. I wouldn't force them to spend time with you though, it will only cause resentment.

MoreBeta Sat 15-Feb-14 21:46:17

We have DSs in family room with computers. Not allowed in bedrooms with electronic items.

However, we are having basement refurbished to give then their own space but am worried we will never see them. Just go to school, come home, go to basement. Seems a sad way to live but in truth they are happy as long as we are around. They worry if we aren't.

We started a thing where we all eat together at weekends so we can talk in a relaxed way.

Onesieone Sat 15-Feb-14 21:48:18

hmm They r too old to sit with Mum now. They don't even chat that much anymore unless they want something. hmm

AnythingNotEverything Sat 15-Feb-14 21:50:08

I think eating together us a great way to minimise their isolation. Also, particularly with teenage boys, an "all food must be eaten downstairs" rule ensures you see quite a lot of them.

RudyMentary Sat 15-Feb-14 21:52:30

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Sparklingbrook Sat 15-Feb-14 21:54:10

DS1 is not allowed to eat meals up in his room. Although he does have a bag of popcorn as we speak-he's playing FIFA on the PS.

Onesieone Sat 15-Feb-14 21:55:44

Well I have to say they never eat in their rooms. I'm a little OCD about food in bedrooms. Totally unhygienic and bad manners. Lol. We all eat together at the table. Maybe I'm being too needy.

RudyMentary Sat 15-Feb-14 21:59:35

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Onesieone Sat 15-Feb-14 22:31:08

Lol Rudy me too!!!

MrsWOLF1 Sat 15-Feb-14 22:37:16

Ds lived in his room.dss does the same here for the weekend sat with us for dinner then straight back to his room ds lives abroad now & we communicate more than when he lived at home!!

Innogen Sun 16-Feb-14 13:32:29

In my experience they emerge and become normal human beings at about 20.

Sparklingbrook Sun 16-Feb-14 13:41:37

DS1 (14) has been away all week on work experience. He came back yesterday. I asked DH if he had missed him. DH said it wasn't any different as he's always upstairs anyway. sad

chocoluvva Sun 16-Feb-14 16:45:51

"become normal human beings at about 20" . Faints! I don't know if I can wait that long - I thought the re-normalising was supposed to start about the age of 17. How disappointing.

Sparklingbrook Sun 16-Feb-14 16:47:47

choco , it sounds like we are in for a long haul. Five more years....

Innogen Sun 16-Feb-14 17:17:13

Fraid so! DD is 22 and a proper human now. Was hard, horrible at times, but so worth it.

Madlizzy Sun 16-Feb-14 17:22:10

I text my teenagers too. :D

ihatethecold Sun 16-Feb-14 17:27:31

Same in this house.
He is happy though.
The dog keeps me company now!

badasahatter Sun 16-Feb-14 17:30:17

Dd is 13 now and she gets home from school and disappears directly into her bedroom. She stays there til tea time, eats her evening meal with us, makes us watch awful television for an hour (dinner date, dance moms, etc) then goes to bed. She reads, does homework and plays on her phone. I see her rarely over the weekend too.

If we didn't insist on family meals, we'd never ever see her!

2kidsintow Sun 16-Feb-14 17:30:43

DH stresses that DD spends too long in her room and we don't see much of her.

This is the same DH that wired an intercom up in his own family home as a teen so his Mum could buzz him to tell him that his dinner was ready.

We've stuck with 'must eat meals down here' too smile

gamerchick Sun 16-Feb-14 17:33:09

It's normal.. its handy as well as my 14 yr Lear old tends to hang around me and wrap himself around my neck like a scarf when there's something up and he needs his mam.

I'm probably lucky like that though.

flow4 Sun 16-Feb-14 17:41:37

It's normal. DS2 is 14 and has just started this. I miss him. DS1 was pretty horrible at 14-17+ so I didn't mind his absence so much.
choco DS1 is becoming quite human again - he's nearly 19. grin

MoreBeta Sun 16-Feb-14 18:06:44

DSs away skiing this week. They just emailed to say they are OK.

DW went all mushy and I must say I had been thinking about them too.

You miss them when they aren't around - even though when they are around they never speak to you except if they want something.

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