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feminine hygiene

(31 Posts)
vixter77 Thu 13-Feb-14 13:00:46

Am having problems with my stepdaughter and feminine hygiene issues. Have had numerous discussions about appropriate ways to deal with waste disposal over the last couple of years and things are not improving, if anything getting worse. Have done discreet, softly softly and quite brutal approach, also left and left to see if she would sort herself but nothing seems to work. I am at a loss as to what to do. Apart from it being vile for her, I have 2 young children of my own who I don't want exposed to this and am at the end of my tether. She is 22 (though acts more like a 15 year old) and mum is not around. If anyone has any suggestions I would be so grateful. Thank you!!!!

UriGeller Thu 13-Feb-14 13:01:40

What is she doing?

vixter77 Thu 13-Feb-14 13:18:28

She is leaving used sanitary towels (unbagged but rolled) in her bin in her bedroom for weeks on end. Have suggested she use the bathroom bin cos I empty regularly but she won't and short of me emptying her bin it will just stay there. Her room is the one area from me moving in that I sated was her responsibility, and I don't want to start interfering with that cos I don't think it will teach her stand on her own to feet for the future,

adeucalione Thu 13-Feb-14 13:30:10

Well it's not very nice but if it's her room then the only person suffering from her poor hygiene is her surely?

vixter77 Thu 13-Feb-14 13:34:43

She is the main one but there is the issue of every time she has her door open the smell and bacteria coming into the rest of the house, and her little sisters want to go and see her in her room, if I am in another room doing something she will let them in which I'm not overly keen on.

RoganJosh Thu 13-Feb-14 13:36:50

I doubt the bacterial will be leaping out of her bin and running along the corridor to the other rooms.

I'd probably just empty her bin once a month as her period finishes.

RoganJosh Thu 13-Feb-14 13:37:03

Bacteria even.

MurielHeslopp Thu 13-Feb-14 13:41:04

Oh this is a tricky one. I can't believe she's 22 and think this is okay.

If she insists on using her bedroom bin maybe insist it must be emptied (by her) weekly? Does she help with any other household chores?

RiaOverTheRainbow Thu 13-Feb-14 13:45:43

Get her a lidded bin to help with the smell, a small one if you can so she has to empty it more often.

vixter77 Thu 13-Feb-14 13:50:15

Not at the moment, apart from she is meant to be responsible for cleaning her room once a week, which is also meant to include changing and Washing her bedding and towels. This only happens infrequently and I can tolerate that, if she wants to be in a dusty room that's her choice but with the sanitary issue it's a bit more cos of the health side. This is a battle I have been having for the last 5 years and I am fed up now.

Fairylea Thu 13-Feb-14 13:52:08

I'd actually get rid of all the bins in the house except the downstairs one / main one and then tell her that any rubbish including used sanitary towels need to be put in that bin. I think perhaps if she didn't have her own bin to leave stuff like that in she might less inclined to fill it and forget about it? Maybe...? Maybe not. Just an idea.

MrsSquirrel Thu 13-Feb-14 13:53:46

I agree it sounds disgusting, but she is an adult, you can't force her.

Even though it might be smelly in there, I do not think it will do your dd's any harm to be in their sister's room. (Sorry for the disgusting image, but I assume they are not touching anything from the bin.)

If it were me, I would just go in there and empty it every now and again, but I understand why you don't want to do that.

vixter77 Thu 13-Feb-14 13:54:19

Thank you faithless, it is a good idea, unfortunately I tried that one and she went out and bought herself a new one!!!!

Hassled Thu 13-Feb-14 13:55:19

Have you tried going for the maximum embarrassment approach? If her father talked to her about this would that work?

Failing that - yes, remove her bin.

vixter77 Thu 13-Feb-14 13:57:38

Sorry thank you fairylea !! Damn predictive text!!!

MurielHeslopp Thu 13-Feb-14 14:01:24

What does her Dad have to say about this? I know it would be completely cringeworthy but could mention this to her? That could be the kick up the bum she needs.
Out of interest, does she work/student? I would be expecting her, as an adult, to be pulling her weight around the house more. Not just her bedroom but that's up to you.

MurielHeslopp Thu 13-Feb-14 14:02:20

Ooops slow typer. Hassled has mentioned your DP.

MrsOakenshield Thu 13-Feb-14 14:03:43

I wonder why she won't use the bathroom bin, as that's got to be far more convenient. Do you think she perhaps feels not at home enough to only use the bin in her room for something so personal? Has she been brought up to think there's something shameful about periods?

DarylDixonsDarlin Thu 13-Feb-14 14:05:45

I'd think twice about removing her bin from her room tbh. Isn't there a name for this kind of thing...where people can't dispose of their sanitary waste, they believe it is a part of them or something? I'm not taking the piss, google it seriously. If that's the case here, and you remove her bin, you run the risk of her hiding the used sanpro in other parts of her room :/

Not sure how old your little children are, sometimes littlies do not understand 'dirty, bin, don't touch!' I would just empty it perhaps once during her period, then again at the end. I do that with my own bathroom bins and don't have any trouble with smells.

DarylDixonsDarlin Thu 13-Feb-14 14:08:22

Wow! Actually just googled it myself, seems pretty common in teenage girls for one reason or another :/

vixter77 Thu 13-Feb-14 14:13:51

She works 30 hrs a week and at one time she was responsible for all her washing and ironing but it wasn't getting done and I was embarrassed to think she was going out in dirty unwashed clothes. Thought that by taking the responsibility away from her it would make her think and want to be the "grown up" she insists she is it would kick her up the bum, but it hasn't worked

vixter77 Thu 13-Feb-14 14:23:13

Have had issues in past of food being hidden in her room so fed wouldn't want more being hidden, I don't know what her upbringing and I introduction to periods was and how it was all dealt with, I have sat down with her and discussed the whys and wherefore and different methods of sanitary stuff, and the importance of the hygiene with it all. So I know she has had all the right information. Think I will google about it daryldixonsdarling see what it all says thanx

justanuthermanicmumsday Thu 13-Feb-14 14:26:21

I agree with fairylea wise words.i hate bins they really make me cringe. My main bin is in a cupboard under the sink.

My husband allowed little uns to have bins for waste paper they doodle a lot, and snotty tissues. But muggins cleans them all out. If he was out the picture they wouldn't have them.

if she were my daughter i wouldn't let her go to sleep until she wrapped it up then disposed of it in the main bin in the house. if she felt her life was unbearable because of some basic hygiene I'd show her the door. no excuse at her age I fully sympathise.

I don't agree with the comment she's an adult, if she's an adult and responsible she should act her age and not have to be told about basic hygiene matters. If she wants to live like a slob she should get her own house and do that. The reality is she wouldn't do that in her own home. I know I have a herd of brothers they don't pick up a finger in my parents home despite living there into their thirties? They won't put any money into the home do it up for parents, who can no longer afford to. Yet they live rent free. have food cooked for them , by women folk of house, they even get laundry done. When two of them got married, miracle of miracles they got brand new kitchen, bathroom, everything. They somehow got money to do their place up but forget the parents who cares right we used and abused them. their place is not a pig sty, but they were happy to live like pigs in parents house?

I think his girl is doing the same disrespecting her parents.

I have a brother 23 yrs old, staying with me he is a little messy and wouldn't initially clean his room or make his bed, forget doing clean sheets regular. I want going to have him treat my place like her did my parental home, so I nagged just to annoy him. then I said you must tidy your room and clean one of the bathrooms in my house once a week or you'll have to go back to dads I can't look after you. I do everything, he gets to live rent free, have all meals cooked for him. So he was moody with me for a few weeks but I remind him if he doesn't do it, and he has it done before the weekend is over. If it means nagging to get the chore done do it, at least you're not tolerating the disgusting behaviour in YOUR HOME. Getting him to cook is a work in progress but that's his choice he won't be here forever if he doesn't wish to learn he'll never taste my mothers home cooking again, she's passed away.

My son was six when he decided he'd eat upstairs sneakily and dispose of half eaten fruit in his bin. I warned him I hate cleaning bins with rotting food. Then I got his pretty little bin that he had saved up for and disposed of it outside. several months later he has learnt his lesson new cool bin, only waste paper in it.

If you see her get in a new bin, take if off her. Say no bin allowed in her room unless her sanitary stuff is wrapped and put in main bin rather than bedroom. I think it's disgusting too.

LyndaCartersBigPants Thu 13-Feb-14 14:28:27

I can't believe it's that much of an issue. Can't you just give her a carrier bag to line the bin and then each week on bin day/her cleaning day say "bring down your rubbish". If she doesn't notice/are it can't be that bad. My bathroom bins have lids and sometimes I forget to empty them on bin day. It's not the end of the world.

LyndaCartersBigPants Thu 13-Feb-14 14:28:46


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