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dd(15) had decided she is fat and ugly and is refusing to eat dinner.

(10 Posts)
carpieharp Sun 09-Feb-14 17:29:32

Today dd was meant to be leaving to go to the theatre with friends, about 10 mins before she stomped into my room on the verge of tears saying she's not going because shes gone really spotty overnight, her hair is greasy and her thighs are fat. She's a size 10 jeans so when she declared that her 'thighs look like they belong on a morbidly obese woman' I nearly laughed. In the end she stomped out the house late and went. Now she's gotten back and headed to her room in a strop and saying how she doesn't want any dinner. How do I react to this? My mother would always just tell me ' well stop eating so much rubbish then' if I told her I was fat, which didn't help and acknowledged I was fat. So how does correctly react to this?

lljkk Sun 09-Feb-14 17:47:48

you can't win. I'd start by treating it as a non event, myself. See how things go.

Nicole1976 Sun 09-Feb-14 18:31:11

When someone at school called my 13yo DS fat I acknowledged the truth in it and had a talk with him

carpieharp Sun 09-Feb-14 18:36:48

Except she isn't fat, she's a size 8 in tops and 8 to 10 in jeans, she just is convinced she is fat

cmharrassed Sun 09-Feb-14 18:50:59

Is she like this all the time? I only ask because it sounds like PMT to me - my dd always used to have a few days like this when she's feeling bloated, spotty and hornonal and nothing looked or fitted right! I just reinforce that she is a healthy, normal size. I'd just make dinner and carry on as usual!

TheReluctantCountess Sun 09-Feb-14 18:54:31

I am morbidly obese. I wouldn't even contemplate going to the theatre because I know I would not fit into the seats. If she isn't worrying about fitting into seats then she needed worry about the size of her thighs grin

Piscivorus Sun 09-Feb-14 18:59:04

My DD started doing this about the age of 14, she is now 23 and still has spells of it. I have always just said to her that she is not fat and logically she must know that, this is more about her feelings and is a problem in her head rather than her body. Having said that, it is 10 years on so it clearly hasn't worked very well sad

There is such pressure on young women now to look like celebrities and models who are stick thin, enhanced by cosmetic surgery and airbrushed too

carpieharp Sun 09-Feb-14 19:01:55

Well a few months ago she ate as little as possible and lost a hell of a lot of weight, she's nearly put It all back on now but I'm scared she's going to fall down that route again and it may be more extreme than last time as she will be even more scared to put the weight back on again. But I don't want to make an issue of this if it's just a teen tantrum that will be over by the morning

carpieharp Sun 09-Feb-14 19:02:36

She's 'gone to bed now so dinner tonight isn't happening.

MurielHeslopp Mon 10-Feb-14 14:35:07

How was she this morning, OP? smile

Obviously she doesn't need to lose any weight but I wondered if she has an interest in healthy eating. Do you eat healthily as a family?
I'm not suggesting you eat unhealthily but maybe she feels some lack of control with what she eats so would rather eat nothing when she's having a so called 'fat moment'?

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