Having stumbled upon this forum a few months ago I would like to acknowledge the support it has given me. My 17 yr old DS and his 16 yr old GF have certainly caused me a lot of stress since they got together in June this year. My son has changed so much and as much as I would like to blame the GF I have to accept the fact that he is responsible for the choices he is making. Within the first 2 mths of them dating she got pregnant, she did have a termination. This was an extremely difficult time, we had know choice but to let them know we would be there no matter what decision they made. In Sept he told us he was no longer going to go to Uni, again we had to put our feelings aside and just made sure he understood that he would have to get a job as we would not financially support him once he is no longer in education. Yesterday he announces that at the beg of Jan him and his GF are moving in together. They are renting a room together ( one of his friends parents rent out rooms) they both have part time jobs. He intends to finish college and then hopefully get a full time job.
I am just saddened by the whole thing, I guess it's the loss of the dreams I had for him and the feeling that I did something wrong. His reasoning is that he respects our rules, but he wants to do more than we allow, we won't allow his GF to spend the night here as I have a 9yr old and 14 yr old to consider.
We just told him that it is not what we wanted for him but the most important thing to us is our relationship with him. We told him that he is loved unconditionally and that no matter what this will always be his home and he can return anytime.
I can truly say if I hadn't been on the sidelines reading many of the posts I would have reacted very differently. I would like to think that once he has a dose of reality he will come home but I realize that I have no control over this. I can only hope that it works out for him. One blessing is that where he will be living is literally 5 mins away, he did say he will miss us and that he plans on visiting us on a regular basis.
As we don't agree with this I won't be helping them with things they may need, furniture etc... I feel if I help him financially this is of no benefit to him at all, above anything this has to be a learning experience for him.
So do you think I have handled this right or does anyone have any more advice for me. I have cried so much over the last 24 hrs, he doesn't know this, I am in bits but as I said previously I am grieving the loss of my dreams for him.
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Teenagers
17 yr old DS moving in with 16 yr old GF
24 replies
magily4 · 17/12/2013 08:36
OP posts:
IamGluezilla ·
17/12/2013 13:16
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