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Point of reference needed, please

(3 Posts)
Standards Thu 31-Oct-13 14:37:46

My teenage son (just 17) has confided in me that he is bi-sexual. No problem there, other than that I am not to tell his father (we are separating, as it happens). I also believe it is a stepping stone to being fully gay - again, no problem: these things take time. He doesn't wish to have a gay relationship in the area where we live and has met boys via social networking sites whom he is choosing to visit, miles away.
Obviously, there are inherent worries about this - the stuff of a much longer message on this discussion board - but can anyone tell me whether their teenagers also do such things? Actually go to visit and stay with people whom I regard as strangers, and whom my son regards as someone he knows well, after weeks of screen interaction? Mercifully, these other boys are just that: teenagers too, which is a relief of sorts.
It just all seems so risky and strange to me but he is a wayward, arrogant boy and I am powerless to stop him, despite my vocalised concerns and lack of approval. Any comments gratefully received, please. And thank you.

TillyTotter1 Thu 31-Oct-13 14:49:50

At 17 I wouldn't be overly happy if he is staying overnight with strangers but if he is only visiting and returning home I wouldn't panic. Lots of relationships/friendships happen like this these days, especially within the LGBT community as if you feel you're the only gay in the village so to speak or he isn't ready to come out yet, going farther afield is sometimes the only option.

Stricnine Fri 01-Nov-13 15:58:46

My teenage DD (now 17) has quite a few 'internet' friends - most of whom she's met through her Youtube activities - they quite often do video chat (Google Hang outs etc) so they do appear as real people - as opposed to chat rooms where it's all just typing.. and much easier to hide behind an alias.

She has now been to stay with several of them - sofa surfing around bits of Britain and has come to no harm at all .. (I used to go youth hosteling and cycling round bits of Britain at a similar age - meeting and interacting with complete strangers and survived)

I think the negativity of the internet is a bit unfair, it is a valid place to meet like minded people and to get to know them.. if there are no or few local friends that he feels he wants to spend time with, then what is the alternative - a lonely life stuck in his own house unwilling to socialise.

This has nothing to do with being gay, bi or whatever, it's just about making friends!

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