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DD (13 yo) has upset Best Friend.

(15 Posts)
FranSanDisco Sun 27-Oct-13 09:43:50

DD (13) was invited to a Halloween Party at her Theatre Group by her Best Friend this weekend. It was a promo type of party where flyers were handed out to encourage new joiners.

DD came home saying she really enjoyed it, lots of fun, friendly people so all was good. She asked if she could join and I said we would discuss with DH.

She text her BF to say she might be able to join and got a response saying BF didn't want her to join as she would ruin her Saturdays. She wants her school and theatre friends to be separate. DD asked her why she invited her then. Apparently she invited her, then changed her mind (she told dd it was cancelled a week ago) and then was told by another friend that she was out of line so reinstated invitation. BF said she know DD would want to join confused.

DD is upset but also doesn't want to lose this friendship as they have a lot in common. She says she won't join this group now. What would you advise your dd to do?

Primrose123 Sun 27-Oct-13 09:52:26

I think your DD's friend was being unreasonable, not your DD. The theatre club doesn't belong to the friend and if your DD wants to join then she should. The other girl sounds a bit controlling and bossy. Perhaps your DD could join, but say to the other girl that she won't hang around her so she 'won't spoil her weekend'.

FranSanDisco Sun 27-Oct-13 09:58:26

Primrose123, funnily enough BF said to DD that if she did join she wouldn't talk to her while she was there but only in school. DD thinks that would be awkward though as well as a bit silly as they do everything together in school.

RobinSparkles Sun 27-Oct-13 10:11:12

I think that your DD should join and the other girl should get over herself (which I think she will do eventually).

I time I think that the other girl will realise that it is fun having your DD at Drama club, when she joins.

Your DD sounds lovely. The other girl not so much. I would be upset if my DD behaved that way as a teen!

ChippingInNeedsANYFUCKER Sun 27-Oct-13 10:16:12

I think your DD should join the group and I think she should find herself a new BF at school - this girl sounds horrible and I would really really want to tell her what a little cow she is

FranSanDisco Sun 27-Oct-13 10:43:45

Thanks smile. Have shown her these replies and she laughed. At least she now knows she did nothing wrong. BF is a little immature and does indeed need to get over herself.

FlabbyAdams Sun 27-Oct-13 10:48:39

Your DD should join if she wants to but I would be a little concerned (knowing what 12/13/and 14yo girls can be like) that it may cause some uoset initially. I can see it spiralling a bit before it gets better perhaos others at the drama club not speaking to your DD as well because of friends attitude etc.

Just be aware it may causeuposet before it settles down.

ToucanBlack Sun 27-Oct-13 10:51:40

Don't think too badly of the friend. She is most likely is a bit jealous of your DD and is worried that all her 'Saturday Friends' will like DD more than her.

Are there any other drama clubs near by that DD could join? It's a difficult one though because you don't want this other child dictating to your DD.

Sorry I'm no help am I!! confusedblush

IamGluezilla Mon 28-Oct-13 10:21:14

Actually Toucan Black has put my thoughts more gently. Obviously in Mumsnet speak "Saturday friends will like DD more" translates to "Wendy".

I love that I have friends from discrete places and cannot think of anything worse than a close work colleague turning up to anywhere I have already established myself by my own efforts particularly for them to assume they could just ride in blithely on the back if it. Now as an adult I might be able to handle and manage that with a modicum of dexterity, but the friend's comment basically says that - and quite frankly, for you to consider her immature based on that, is bizarre.

Of course your daughter is ENTITLED to go, and if you and she insist that YOUR ENTITLEMENTS must be fulfilled, be prepared for to be privately considered Bessie Blunder-In and her daughter Wendy Blunder-In.

A little discretion and thoughtfulness go a long way.

Floggingmolly Wed 30-Oct-13 20:32:30

Bessie Blunder-In? shock. It's a drama group; open to the public.
Op's dd is not planning to show up at her friend's house every Saturday, demanding to stay for dinner and rifling through her wardrobe.
Genuinely [shocked] at another adult considering this situation from the standpoint of op feeling her ENTITLEMENT having to be fulfilled.
There's entitlement there, alright, but the charmless friend has all of it.

ZZZenagain Wed 30-Oct-13 20:36:22

can't see how your dd has upset her bf. The bf's reaction was upsetting but that your dd went to a drama club and liked what she saw and is thinking of joining, well what is wrong with that?

DrankSangriaInThePark Wed 30-Oct-13 20:39:31

Hopefully your lovely daughter will dump the manipulative little princess as soon as.
She sounds a complete spoiled brat. I bet when she was younger (or probably even now) she was one of those playground bullies who decides who can be her friend that day. <shudders>

NoComet Wed 30-Oct-13 20:53:49

I think those calling the BF a brat and controlling need to get over themselves. As another poster said adults often have discrete groups of friends and might feel awkward if work friends and known each other from school etc. met.

We have had awkward moments because DD1's BF does not get on with my DFs DD, who DD1 can rub along with ok.

No one is being nasty, it just doesn't work.

DrankSangriaInThePark Wed 30-Oct-13 21:01:24

Who the heck is DF's DD in this equation? confused Your father's daughter? Or your friend's? Or your "fella's"? In any of the 3 situations it's totally different (and random) to the OP's situation.

Floggingmolly Wed 30-Oct-13 22:17:52

But they do get on, Starball, they're best friends...
Madam has just decided she has dibs on a club which selects it's members from the general public.

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