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DS(16) has shaved off all of his pubic hair!!

(52 Posts)
Dontletthemgetyoudown Tue 22-Oct-13 14:05:55

Not sure if im more annoyed that he left it all in the bath and I had to make him go back and clean it up, or that hes potentially having casual sex.

He denies being in a relationship or having sex but yet why would you? actually quite frustrating as I can never get him to have a proper bloody wash or wash his hair, shave his face but yet he randomly does this!

Not sure that I need advice just needed to rant smile

GaryBuseysTeeth Tue 22-Oct-13 15:16:13

I shaved my ladygarden when I was 14, no reason other than I wanted to see what it felt like. Velcro is the answer.

He could be doing it 'just cos', to make his willy look bigger, or because he sees all the 'Brah' gym types hairless?
Does he run/jog?

Has he got (or had he) chest hair too?

dyslexicdespot Tue 22-Oct-13 16:01:06

Well, he might not feel comfortable talking to you about sex, or asking you condoms, which is understandable. You could buy them for him and just leave them in his room, along with some lube and a box of Kleenex! He will probably be mortified, but a hairy bath deserves a punishment!

On a serious note- I would recommend any parent with teens to have a look at The Terrence Higgens Trust website. They do a lot of work with teens regarding sexual health. You might find a lot of useful info, and I am sure he will.

lukebsf1 Tue 22-Oct-13 16:54:27

It doesn't mean he's having sex neccessarily. A more likely reason is that him and his mates are chatting about sex and stuff (about 70% of conversations age 16 revolve around sex or girls.) someone mentioned about it (Possibly seen it in a porno) and then he decided go give it a go.

Teenage guys think things over significantly less than girls in general. There was almost definately no other reason apart from curisosity, we don't think that far ahead.

Dontletthemgetyoudown Tue 22-Oct-13 16:58:40

I've left condoms in his room he returned them!

I guess I'll just laugh it off this time and watch him squirm with the grow back.

Hes not hairy anywhere else he doesn't have any chest hair. He plays football and rugby and I should imagine hes going to seriously get the piss taken out of him in the communal shower on sunday!

IamInvisisble Tue 22-Oct-13 17:00:16

I know both my sons trim their pubic hair. It wouldn't occur to me to ask them why. It's none of my business. I have given them as much information as I can about Condoms, casual sec and STIs. Both are over the age of consent, one is an adult.

Coffeenowplease Tue 22-Oct-13 17:01:07

I think maybe you are pushing him. Not all 16 year olds have sex. He may well have no need for condoms, you offering is like assuming he MUST be because he is 16.

I bet you anything he isnt at all. Maybe he did it for a bet at Rugby ? Wouldnt surprise me.

Coffeenowplease Tue 22-Oct-13 17:01:44

*isnt having sex I mean. Thats why hes embarrassed.

ElephantsAndMiasmas Tue 22-Oct-13 22:29:58

I bet he did it "just to see", or got started and did it unevenly so had to do the lot. Bet he's dying of embarrassment now!

IwishIwasmoreorganised Tue 22-Oct-13 22:33:52

Do him a favour and get him a cheap pair of exfoliating mits.

He'll thank you!

Good grief - I hadn't even considered that this might be something we were dealing with in 8 more years!!

DrinkFeckArseGirls Tue 22-Oct-13 22:34:47

Get him to tidy that up!

thinkofthemoney Tue 22-Oct-13 22:35:32

I think it's the norm now to be hairless.

Rosencrantz Wed 23-Oct-13 00:45:44

Why do you even care? Shaving your pubes/not shaving your pubes is no indication of sexual activity it all.

They're his pubes to do whatever he wants with ffs. The only thing you've got any right to be annoyed with is the messy bathroom. It would be legal for him to be shagging, you know!

Rosencrantz Wed 23-Oct-13 00:46:58

DH shaves his pubes off because quote 'my knob gets hot.'

cory Wed 23-Oct-13 09:43:55

Agree with Rosencrantz: you need to step away. His body, his decisions.

Quite likely nothing to do with his sex life, anyway, but just a fad going round his changing room. Teens are just as likely to want to keep up with their same sex peers as impress the opposite sex.

There is an increasing fashion for more and more body hair to come off. To my mother's generation shaving your legs seemed excessive.

TheWanderingUterus Wed 23-Oct-13 13:17:16

If he is playing football and rugby perhaps he has been teased for not doing it. Perhaps the majority of his team mates do it and he was feeling like he should do it to fit in.

SuperiorCat Wed 23-Oct-13 13:27:12

Does seen to be the thing now that both sexes remove their pubic hair at this age so it could well be him conforming or copying or having had others comment. Not necessarily sexually active.

Dontletthemgetyoudown Wed 23-Oct-13 14:00:07

wow so glad that im not a teenager now. I'm not that old (37) but teenager years were a lot simpler, thank god for the baggy jeans and hoodies of brit pop age grin last thing I worried about was state of my pubic hair.

I have to admit to find it a bit strange that after only having pubic hair count a couple of years ago, you know, wow mum I've got 5 hairs down there, to now shaving it all off!

louby44 Wed 23-Oct-13 20:23:43

Many, many kids shave off their pubes! It's the norm these days.

He's 16, I'd just leave him to it as long as he cleans up after himself!

sporktacular Fri 25-Oct-13 02:28:44

Ha ha brilliant, I work with young adults and it does amuse me all the mad things they do like this. Imagine getting so absorbed in shaving your pubes that you forget to empty the plughole where your mum would see! Would never laugh to their faces if they might be at all embarrassed but... soooo funny smile

Anyway, there is not necessarily any link with actual sexual activity at all, although it's quite likely at 16 that he THINKS about it all a lot. Why would he shave then? CURIOSITY! Really that is probably all. Would not worry.

Come to think of it, I grew my own armpit hair just recently for a while out of sheer curiosity. Did not leave it in the plughole when I shaved it off though, FGS.

WRT increasing the chances that your YP (does mumsnet use the YP = Young People abbreviation?) will have sex safely when/if he does have it:

Condoms are quite expensive to buy, so not a bad idea to have some in the house in a place where he will notice and know where they are, should he ever want to get his hands on any for any reason. In a bathroom cupboard or something is a little more subtle than placed deliberately in his room - just make them available generally, don't make it into a comment about his possible sexual behaviour.

Maybe make sure there is a big pile of them so he can take a couple without it being noticed at all, and remember there is more than one reason why he might take them - for friends, out of curiosity, to practice putting them on, or maybe to carry around pretending that he might need to use them even though he really doesn't smile. Also any of his friends who visit might nab a few if they find them. I give out condoms to YP where I work, and I suspect that at least half who regularly get them aren't actually sexually active yet. But that's fine.

Of course the less often he washes, the less likely he is to be having any sex, if that's any comfort....

Slipshodsibyl Sat 26-Oct-13 10:53:11

I think a lot of sportsmen do it so agree that he is probably just fitting in at the changing room.

claretandamberforever Sat 26-Oct-13 10:56:46

Not sure whether my DS1 (17) shaves down there, but he does shave his legs and armpit hair because of aesthetic reasons and he just does not like body hair. Luckily as he is an athlete he tells his mates it's to make him more aerodynamic.

And they believe him.

Ireallymustbemad Sat 26-Oct-13 15:22:41

DS(12) recently informed me that adults have to shave their pubic hair or they will get crabs. His little brother had recently had nits so I explained that crabs are just like nits and are transmitted through contact. As long as when he did get sexually active he wasn't rubbing his bits on someone who had crabs he wouldn't get them, so probably best not to go for he girl who's been with half the town.

There are many reasons why he might have done it, and rumour may well be one of them. I have to say I find it sad that most teens think no pubic hair is the norm. That's the widespread influence of porn no doubt.

notquiteaparentyet Sat 26-Oct-13 19:02:11

I wouldn't worry about it at all, I did the same thing about once, maybe twice when I was 14-16 just out curiosity, even plain boredom in the bathtub.

A week later I regretted it, as males who have mentioned this, it grows back very prickly and painfully! Never did it again!

Him being "disgusted" as you mentioned condoms, safe sex, is most probably down to embarrassment. I mean, what if he found your public hairs shaved in the bathtub, and confronted you?! Very awkward. blush- I don't know if you shave downstairs! But the point still stands.

Let him know that you know kids your age, going through puberty just like to experiment, as opposed to immediately accusing him/confronting him about sex/safe sex. Maybe swing it round to the fact he left the hair there, instead of WHY he did it. Innocent till proven guilty!

I hope this helps you out. Source: Was a 16yo boy myself once!

nomorecrumbs Sat 26-Oct-13 19:06:37

Don't worry about crabs - I've heard it's on the decline as so many people are removing their pubic hair

Also sadly, he may think it's normal due to seeing so many men on porn with it all off sad

Bowlersarm Sat 26-Oct-13 19:10:09

My 17 year old ds is always getting rid of hair - he uses veet - although not pubic strangely but chest, torso and leg hair! I'd leave him be.

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