FFS I've just spent £56 on leather Converse for DD to wear to school and now shes crying because she doesn't know if she can wear them.

[cocolepew]

She had awkward feet and sensory issues, she lives in Converse and we found black leather ones. There is no colour on them at all. She wears trousers so it's not as if you can really see them away.

I keep telling her they are no different to a pair of lace up Kickers or the like. She's now worried about being told off.

She's 15 and is upstairs crying dramatically and banging doors.
Give me strength .

[secretscwirrels]

Hmm. Give me a toddler tantrum any day rather than a 15 year old girl strop.

[LaurieFairyCake]

Have you checked the uniform requirements - they wouldn't be allowed at our school, neither would Kickers though.

[cocolepew]

Shes's now saying she will wear them, but that's only because I have said she had to pay for them.
.

She is a very anxious child so I asked her over and over again was she sure she would wear them. Obviously she said yes.

[cocolepew]

It's a pretty mixed high school she goes too. There is a uniform policy but it's not to strictly enforced for something like this. She's a good, quiet girl, I'm not sure what she thinks will happen to her .

[MrsMongoose]

I don't see what the problem is... Return them if she can't wear them... No money gets wasted - child's anxiety relieved. Threatening to make her pay has not helped this situation OP!

[cocolepew]

What an I supposed to say? She's changed her mind?

That still leaves her with no shoes. We tried every shoe in the world on this morning. These were the only ones she felt comfortable in.

[RemusLupinsBiggestGroupie]

Providing they haven't been worn it should be fine to return them. Just say that on reflection, they are not quite right. For the past few years, we've bought dd2 soft brogues from Clarks and she's been v happy with them. Worth a look?

[Floralnomad]

What sort of shoes did she wear last year ? Can't you just buy the same again and take these back ( they wouldn't be allowed at our school either) .

[MrsMongoose]

Yes. Shops ask 'is there anything wrong with them?' Upon return.

You reply with 'no, they just don't fit properly' and the money will be yours to buy new shoes with. She'll just have to find another pair won't she?

I honestly do not understand why this is such a problem. Do you never change your mind and take clothes back? I do it all the time!

[RemusLupinsBiggestGroupie]

This sort of thing

[thisisyesterday]

i agree, just take them back. say you got them home and tried them on her and actually they aren't quite right.
no big deal

[cocolepew]

Really? I I'll give it a go then. I thought they would tell me to take a hike.

She has wore Mary Jane type shoes from Barratts for the last two years, but she's incrdibly hard on her shoes and never gets more than a school year out of them. We tried on loads in Ckarkes but she wasn't happy with any of them. It was brogues she was after.

I feel a shit now for losing the bap but shes such hard work sometimes I'm now crying

[cocolepew]

It's a problem because they were the only ones that fit her comfortably.

[MrsMongoose]

Have you tried Topshop? Great for brogues.

[thisisyesterday]

aww don't cry. I DO understand how you feel, I have a child who is bloody hard work too. sometimes you just want to be able to go to a shop and buy what you need, end of story.
it's blimmin wearing when you have to have constant stresses, and yet another trip out to buy new ones!

i would stress to her that IF the shop agrees to give you the money back that you then buy a replacement pair straight away and that this is the absolute last chance. the ones she chooses are the ones she wears, so she needs to be certain.

I bet she just has buyers regret though, I also get like that. Can't find what I want, start stressing, feel like I have to get something, get home and find that actually I just really wish I had what I'd gone out for. does that make sense?

could you order the brogues online if she has seen soem she likes?

[thisisyesterday]

if she likes the clarks brogues then get them delivered into your local store. you don't pay unless you actually take them when you pick them up... so if they aren't quite right theny ou haven't lost anything

[cocolepew]

We don't have a Topshop nearby.

[curlew]

Have you tried Clarkes brogues- I think thy are called Hampton, or something like that?

You're lucky to get a whole school year out of shoes, by the way!

[RemusLupinsBiggestGroupie]

DD1 had TS brogues last year and they were awful - v hard leather and ripped her feet to shreds. Then again, the Clarks loafers she has now have done the same. Dd2 found the soft brogues really comfortable, and they lasted her at least a year.

[curlew]

like these?

[cocolepew]

She did try on the brogues but said they weren't comfy. She's obsessed about her little toe being squashed .

These really just look like a pair of lace up shoes, the leather is much softer that's why she could wear them.

It's just in her head the fact that they are Converse which she sees as leisure shoes.

[cocolepew]

What's wrong with children? I have had shoes for years without them going into holes!

[thisisyesterday]

i find that odd, because converse are fairly narrow. mine really squish my little toe!!

do they do the brogues in a wider fitting? or a half size bigger?

[cocolepew]

I've read that a lot on here, but I've always found they come up big. She's out with the dog. I'll get her to try on her trousers with them. If she still doesn't want them I'll take them back.
She's a geeky child and I never want her sticking out, people are quick to pick on her and she isn't able to stick up for herself. I don't want her wearing stuff that that gives others ammunition to use against her IYSWIM?