My 13 year old 'borrowed 2 of my 'toys'(61 Posts)
Last night, after my 13 year had gone upstairs to bed, I realised that 2 of my adult toys were missing from the drawer in my bedside table. She replaced them this morning before school and I said to her as she left for the bus that we needed to have a chat after school. At first she acted innocent and said why? I said she knew why and she said a guilty oh!!!
I really don't know how to deal with this. She's only just 13 and I think too young for any of this
Has anyone else had a similar experience? Any suggestions for how I deal with her tonight? Angry? Disappointed? Upset? Do I punish her for taking something from my room (without asking?!!!)
Any help today would be great. Thanks
Yes, I think I'd recommend admitting that I didn't phone friend, but I just wanted to talk it over (and find out the truth)
I expect the dd and friend were all sneaking into their parents bedrooms and taking pics of their(parents) toys and sending them to eachother for laughs. Bet that is more like it.
Message withdrawn at poster's request.
She had a conversation where the DD lied.
There was, it appears, no "interrogation", that's just inflating things.
I didn't interrogate her. All day I tried to imagine the conversation we were going to have. Never once did I think that she would try to lie her way out of it!
I had thought about how I would handle what to me seemed like 2 different issues. Firstly she had been into my room and taken something that didn't belong to her and secondly what she had actually taken. Both things needed dealing with in a different way. I was cross that she'd taken something for which I intended to punish her and I wanted to discuss what she'd actually taken and why, in a calm and understanding manner.
She then changed the situation by lying to me and I didn't know quite how to handle this as I had at all expected it. All I could do was add this to the situation I found myself in and deal with it. I do not tolerate my children lying, especially when it wasn't necessary. I am an approachable Mum who I know both my DDs can turn to for advice and support so to discuss sex, puberty, etc is not an issue in our house. I am open and honest with them.
I didn't deliberate put her in an embarassing situation and it wasn't me who involved her friends in this, she did. I had no intention of contacting the Mum but I wanted her to realise that if she did something wrong she had to take responsibility for it. It worked and she owned up. We had a very emotional conversation and we are now friends instead of me being cross at her for lying and being unable to discuss what happened because of the unsolved lie
Docmartin - why do you think that a 13 yo would do this kind of thing? Certainly not mine!!!!
Because they all talk about that sort of thing at school. I remember going to a friends house and we were laughing our heads off at something similar in her mums bedroom. Obv there were no mobie phones back in the day, but I remember very well the convo at school after and what other mums and dads had hidden up.
You may not like that idea but I reckon she prob found it before and discussions have been had. she was dared to take a pic and send it or somesuch.
Not nice to hear, but think that is nearer the truth, which she would never tell you anyway. she did say it was a dare.....
Yep I think locks on drawers/doors are the way to go. I remember going through my mums things and later taking makeup, tops, cardigans.
You need to lay some ground rules now. She knows what she took is a very intimate item and obviously is testing you in some way.
As for buying your 13-year-
13 year olds are curious- normal
Hormones, horniness and experiments - normal
They 'borrow' their mums stuff without asking - normal
Their mothers keep their sex toys in accessible places and expect a curious hormonal horny experimenting borrower not to be curious or borrow to experiment - not normal.
I bought my first vibrator at 13. She knows exactly what they are, and will have been using them. Sorry op. This is an issue of her respecting your privacy. Please don't make her feel guilty for masturbating.
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