DD14 in on-off relationship

[Charmainesmomma]

DD2, 14yo, is in a relationship. No.1 thing I don't approve of. The guy. No.2 thing I don't approve of. From her friends, I hear that he's hit her before, he's tried to cheat on her, and it doesn't look like he generally cares about her. I also hear that their relationship breaks up literally every other day and has become a joke in their form. What to tell her/ do?

[Numberlock]

How old is he?

[Charmainesmomma]

The same age as she is, 14. She's born in September, and I believe he's born in December

[livinginwonderland]

Do you have proof that he's been abusive or is it just hearsay? He doesn't sound like a nice boy but I think you just have to be there as a shoulder to cry on and be there to pick up the pieces when it all goes wrong (which it will, they're young).

[sweetfluffybunnies]

It may be that she's enjoying the drama and being the centre of attention with her friends at the moment. I expect that will soon wear off.

I think it would be worth talking to her in general terms about relationships, and self-respect. She needs to know that it is completely unacceptable for one person to hit another, whatever the circumstances, and that she must not put up with it.

Other than that, as living said, you need to let her know that whatever happens she can talk to you and you will support her.

[kritur]

There was recently a really good government public health campaign aimed at teenagers which addressed abusive relationships. TV ads that had a girl's boyfriend smashing her phone and things. Might be a starting point for a conversation? Or could you scour magazines for an article or real life story to start a chat about?