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Can I MAKE my 14 year old dd go to summer camp if she doesn't want to?

(168 Posts)
Spidermama Tue 04-Jun-13 18:33:32

Here's the background.
DH is going away for seven and a half weeks in the summer holidays. shock
I work mon-fri, 5am until 12pm.
I have four children aged 8, 11, 13 and 14.

I'll need a break. So I've booked a holiday camp for the kids which looks really great. They'd all go to the same camp for one week.

The problem is that my 14 year old DD says she won't go. She's insisting. She points out, quite correctly, that I can't drag her out of the house.

She's very shy. Actually I know this would be great for her and I think it's just what she needs: A week doing kayaking, canoeing, zip wiring, crafts, archery, camping etc etc etc. It would be a great chance for her to leave the lip gloss and straighteners at home and just BE!

But she won't. And I've paid the deposit.

Having a week to myself is the only thing that's keeping me going and I won't cope without it.

What would you do?

AitchTwoOhOneTwo Thu 06-Jun-13 09:48:58

replying is The Whole Point of a discussion board, sherezady...

anyway, interesting first post, welcome to Mumsnet. grin

TanteRose Thu 06-Jun-13 09:53:49

goodness, the Thread Police are out and about confused

AitchTwoOhOneTwo Thu 06-Jun-13 09:57:28

aye, or mebbe a lone cop gone rogue... wink

scherazadey Thu 06-Jun-13 09:59:51

Not my first post by a very long way and, oh dear, you spelt my name wrong

AitchTwoOhOneTwo Thu 06-Jun-13 10:02:30

nope, not when i checked if you ever posted before i didn't... two posts now. congratulations!

scherazadey Thu 06-Jun-13 10:05:53

New account dear, my email was corrupted - 102 posts on previous :-)

AitchTwoOhOneTwo Thu 06-Jun-13 10:12:18

excellent, congratulations, that's very convincing. so the only other conclusion then, is that this is personal? because there's absolutely nothing i've said or done on this thread that would require me in particular to shut the fuck up. i was literally replying to someone addressing me directly on that last post (incidentally, it wasn't me who corrected anyone's spelling - not my thing).

after a full 105 posts on MN you should know that taking fights across threads is not nice, so perhaps you should leave it now? you don't want someone telling you to shut the fuck up.

ChewingOnLifesGristle Thu 06-Jun-13 10:16:32

This thread has turned very strange.

AitchTwoOhOneTwo Thu 06-Jun-13 10:22:01

yars... and where's spidey? not like her to start a thread and not return... we need to know what the plan is now. (and if dd is looking after the kids in the morning, which is a Total Gamechanger).

Jins Thu 06-Jun-13 10:24:06

I've got a 15yo and I'm staggered that the op booked this without several very serious discussions about whether her 14yo wanted to go.

PGL type summer camp is ok if you're in primary school, borderline for year 7, by year 8 they are embarrassed to tell their friends and once they've hit year 9 it would be flat out refusal. Lame is the mildest word my 15yo used when I just tested an imaginary plan on him grin

I'd not send her. But then I'd not send any child to a PGL type summer camp. I've accompanied a group for a week and I still fail to see how the activities are meant to be character forming.

Send her to her grandmothers. She won't get the piss ripped out of her for that grin

Jimalfie Thu 06-Jun-13 10:40:54

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

mumeeee Thu 06-Jun-13 17:46:27

I wouldn't make her go, I was very shy at that age and would have hated anything like that. I'm not shy now although am still a bit quite. I have also now tried some of those things and enjoyed them but it was my choice when I did them and I was not forced into to doing them,
I have 3 DDs and the middle one would have hated these activities t 14 she is now a confident adult.

Spidermama Tue 11-Jun-13 21:59:42

Wow! Great thread. Some excellent later posts. Sorry I'm only just catching up with it now. Thought it was done and dusted. Hello *Aitch*. You still here then? grin

As for the MNer concerned DD will be in charge in the summer hols -- Not the case. I have a friend who'll come in the mornings most times. MIL will come for a week and my mum another. I look forward to the day I can leave DD in charge but at the moment it's not fair on any of them.

In brief (I should be asleep as am working at 5) DD said she'd go if her friend went but friend's mum didn't fancy it. (Fair enough. V expensive). I called the place and they gave me the deposit back so that was good.
DD is happy to go to Grandma's in Dorset for a week and will be spoiled there.

Oh yes I forgot to mention there is the added bonus that I GET MY WEEK OFF. YES!! YOU BEAUTY! BACK OF THE NET!!

So I think an adequate solution's been implemented for all.

cory Tue 11-Jun-13 22:01:45

Glad it ended happily, Spidermama. Enjoy your holiday! grin

AitchTwoOhOneTwo Tue 11-Jun-13 22:02:14


ExitPursuedByABear Tue 11-Jun-13 22:10:36

Glad it all worked out. All that free time to MNet

Spidermama Mon 17-Jun-13 18:41:33

grin Aitch! SSSSSsssssssssssssssssssssssss.

AitchTwoOhOneTwo Mon 17-Jun-13 20:58:56


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