How do I help lovesick ds?

[SingingSilver]

DS is 16, has mild Asperger's Syndrome, and suffers from social anxiety. He attends a small school for teenagers with similar issues.

His class breaks up in mid-June after their exams are finished. DS has been getting increasingly depressed and/or agitated about his class breaking up and it was what I had suspected. He likes a girl in his class. He is painfully shy and doesn't talk much, and she always sits next to him and encourages him to talk. Whether this is interest, friendship, or out of kindness I don't know.

DS is bright and has been offered an excellent further education opportunity, but all he can see is that he won't see this girl anymore, even though he's so shy he won't even ask her what she'll be doing after summer. He was so happy with his plans for September, and now he's really down.

I feel sorry for him. Even if she did like him back, I don't see him being able to summon up the courage to ask her out - and to be honest I'm not sure if a gf would even be a good thing for him at this point in his life. I can already see how this will play out, he will shut himself away all summer.

This is the first time I have encountered a girl issue with ds. Brand new territory for both of us.

All I can think to suggest it that he offers to swap phone numbers and emails with everyone in his class so they can keep in contact, and stay in communication with her that way?

[chocoluvva]

That sounds like a great idea.

Could you host a small party at your home?

[SingingSilver]

No, they're pretty much all social phobics so that wouldn't go over well!

I don't know if I should coach him on what to say to her or if that would just add an extra level of stress?

[Isthiscorrect]

Oh dear. I don't have any experience but if they couldn't go to a small gathering to hang out, DVD and pizza rather than a full on party could you get the teacher to ask the whole class to something the class mum aka YOU has organized , like maybe going to the movies? Apologies if this is stupid it's was just a thought and I know kids hate it when we interfere but maybe a quiet word to the teacher?
Good luck.

[secretscwirrels]

Don't have experience of AS but I do have two painfully shy teenage boys.
When DS1 had an unrequited crush I did actually coach him a bit, in the sense of suggesting conversation openers and how to develop a conversation. I also encouraged him to try and be friends with girls, to sit with them and tune in to the way they talk (boys with sisters learn this at home).
It did pay off in the end and he gained some confidence and made friends with some girls.
Having said that with any teenager, romance and broken hearts are very difficult to avoid and hard to watch.

[SingingSilver]

It's been organised that they will all go on a day out with the teaching staff about a week after they leave, so there's his opportunity.

Thanks for the advice. I've suggested a few things. I'm glad he's open enough to give me an idea of what's going on with him, I don't think my parents had any idea about my teenage crushes, or early boyfriends! It's strange to see the other side of it now, and the agonies shy teenage boys go through. I never would have guessed when I was that age!

[secretscwirrels]

I find girls can be rather cruel I think they often don't realise that boys have feelings too! Perhaps they hide it too well under their gruff exterior.

[rainbowslollipops]

I think it'd be a good idea to find something for them to do just hang out. I do think it's worth them keeping in contact though, she sounds like she brings out the best in him with regards to him talking more.