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Should we take this boy in?

(124 Posts)
CoolStoryBro Sat 04-May-13 15:21:20

Hi. My 16 year old's son's friend is having a really tough time. Both of his parents have died and he's been staying with a relative. Naturally, the poor kid is pretty messed up and it hasn't been a smooth transition. It's all culminated in his relative saying he has to leave.

Ds has asked if he stay with us "for a while". I was just wondering if anyone had any experience of this. Did it work? I have 3 other younger children, so I am worried about the impact on them too.

Obviously my heart says reach out to this boy and we have plenty of room and can offer him some stability while he sorts himself out, but my head is saying, "Eeek!"

Any advice gratefully received.

3littlefrogs Thu 09-May-13 18:25:16

My DH was fostered. We are both so grateful that a family was willing to take him in.We are still all very close.

I really hope it goes well for you.

neolara Thu 09-May-13 18:29:47

You've brought a tear to my eye. Good luck. It's a wonderful thing you are doing.

secretscwirrels Thu 09-May-13 18:33:32

flowers What a wonderful, generous, selfless thing to do.
You know where to come if you need support and please come back and tell us how it goes smile

ExitPursuedByABear Thu 09-May-13 18:36:03

Oh good for you. I know someone like this and he was taken in by a family.

He ended up married to the daughter.

UpTheFRIGGinDuff Thu 09-May-13 18:39:35

What a wonderfuly kind thing to do.

I hope it goes well for you

HighJinx Thu 09-May-13 18:42:04

You sound lovely OP flowers

I hope it all works out for everyone.

CoolStoryBro Thu 09-May-13 22:54:44

Awwww. You're all too kind! It's not completely altruistic. Think how many hours in the car I'll save now I don't have to give DS a lift to his friends' house!! wink

I certainly think the Teenagers board will be my new MN home with 3 of them in the house!

So, today I went out and bought new bedding (the guest bedding wasn't very 16yo boyish!), towels, etc. I also found a cute desk on Craigslist which I pick up tomorrow. Got to show we're serious about him keeping up with his schoolwork! Then he's moving in on Saturday.

Talk about a life changing few days!!

And, thanks again for the kind words. It's been really lovely to read and only strengthens the feeling that we're doing thd right thing.

ladymariner Thu 09-May-13 23:54:55

Well done you, what an amazing and totally generous thing to do.....looking forward to your updates, and got everything crossed it all works out brilliantly for you all xxx

Monty27 Fri 10-May-13 00:19:09

Cool I so hope this goes really well for your family. You have demonstrated such humanity and I really hope it's successful and fulfilling for all.

Kudos to all who have done it and other similar things.


We'll be here for you too, I have a ds of 17 so have a fair bit of experience smile

AcrylicPlexiglass Fri 10-May-13 00:29:02

Good luck to you all. Like others I think it's a lovely thing to do. xxxx

AThingInYourLife Fri 10-May-13 00:38:03

What a wonderful thing you are doing.

I hope it works out well for all of you smile

Thumbwitch Fri 10-May-13 00:42:34

Bless you, you've brought a tear to my eye - what wonderfully kind people you are. thanks

From the point of view of how you manage with him, I think the best thing you can do for him is to treat him exactly the same way as you would your own son - same rules, same punishments, same everything (with some allowance for his grief state, but not too much) - it will make him feel like he's part of the family rather than "some poor boy who needs kid glove handling". Anything that creates a level of "normality" (in as much as it can under the circs) will help to settle him. I hope he and his grandma can work things out - I'm sure they will be able to when they've had some space from each other.

mindfulmum Fri 10-May-13 00:59:11

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ElizaDoLots Fri 10-May-13 09:37:10

What a tear-jerker. Good luck OP - I think you're amazing.

FuckThisShit Fri 10-May-13 09:46:17

Wow what a wonderfully kind and generous family. Such a heartwarming post and thread to read. thanks

foofooyeah Fri 10-May-13 09:52:32

Just wanted to say I do hope it all goes ok. Yes there will be 'moments' - but I hope there will be a lot of good times too.

SanityClause Fri 10-May-13 10:00:40

Cool, Neil Morrissey recently did a couple of programs about how he had been in care from about 10. If it hadn't been for a school friend's family taking him in at about 16 or 17, he would not have been able to stay in the 6th form, and would never have been an actor.

You are giving this boy a fantastic chance. flowers

libertyflip Fri 10-May-13 10:04:54

Well done and good luck to you all.

NigelMolesworth Fri 10-May-13 11:03:03

What a wonderful thing to to. I wish you and your family all the best.

<note to self: do not read tear-jerking threads immediately before going on an important conference call>

bootsycollins Sat 11-May-13 08:31:18

coolbro that's brilliant news, you really are doing an amazing thing. I hope he settles in quickly and that you all enjoy welcoming your new family member. Please keep us updated, good luck to you x

claudedebussy Sat 11-May-13 08:37:06


you are changing this boy's life for the better. there should be more people in the world like you. flowers

CoffeePleaseSir Sat 11-May-13 08:46:09

This is a wonderful thread.
Op I hope it works out for you all & well done for stepping up for a boy who sounds so lost.

CouthyMow Sat 11-May-13 08:51:08

I think contacting Winston's Wish on the boy's behalf would be a good idea. They really helped me to deal with the grief from losing my Father when I was 10.

WinkyWinkola Sat 11-May-13 08:55:32

Cool story, you are brilliant. Lucky boy to have you and your dh on his team. He stands a far better chance of happiness in life now.

toomuch2young Sat 11-May-13 09:01:47

How brilliant, hope the moving in goes ok OP, good luck with everything.

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