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older boyfriend

(5 Posts)
xxshazzaxx Mon 22-Apr-13 14:07:06

Hi im new here just looking for advice here goes..
My Daughter is 14yrs and I have a battle on my hands just found out her new BF is 18yrs wve had a calm discussion (suprizingly) that hes too old and i am really not happy .. then came the tears tantrums door banging ect.. ive threaten to tell her farther if she doesnt end the relationship ,but shes having none of it..and last night she was late home by 2 hours (dads away working ) so hes no wiser at the moment .. we had a huge argument she says she really likes this boy and shes goin to keep seeing him ...and i know she is having a sexual relationship so contraception is the next issue..
At 14 I just think she is too young for this guy and sexual relationship but dont know how to handle this.. any advice please

nannyof3 Mon 22-Apr-13 14:13:54

Its illegal...

His breaking the law!!

What does a 18 year old want to be with a 14 year old?

First things first, get her on the pill or injections and get her plenty of condoms!!

The more u tell ur daughter something the more shes going to do it

Tell her father, he needs to Know

Any possibility you can talk to this 'mans' parents? Or him?
Has he got special needs??
Just dont see why a 18 year old would be with a child?

chocoluvva Mon 22-Apr-13 15:23:03

Have you met him?

Does he know your DD is only 14?

xxshazzaxx Mon 22-Apr-13 23:09:43

Havnt met the boy nor do I want to,have had a discussion with DD today weve agreed on certain things weve talked about contraception (god shes 14) but id rather that then an unplanned pregnancy.. ive told her I am not happy with the situation and we will talk when dads home .. shes now agreed to think about ending the relationship apparently she really doesnt want dad to know so im going to take a deep breath calm down and see what happens ive given her a few days to decide then we will talk more..

givemejellytots Wed 24-Apr-13 14:00:41

I know exactly how you feel as we are in exactly the same situation with DD2 who is 15 in 3 weeks and has a 18 year old BF.

At first I was horrified and my initial reaction was no way BUT I knew that banning her from seeing him would not work (they go to the same school) so I told her that I wanted to meet him. She happily agreed to this and I am so glad we did as he is a really great person. I know he is technically an adult but believe me he really is just a teenager, just older and more respectful of my DD, unlike the 15 year old she previously went out with.

Personally I would rather she went out with someone a bit older who doesn't feel the need to brag to his mates about what he might be able to get up to with DD.

We have had the chat about contraception and DD says she is not ready for that yet but will speak to me when she does. She also knows she can go and see the school nurse.

Yes I do let them be alone in her room and I am not naive enough to think there's nothing going on but i'd rather it was going on under my roof than down the park behind the bushes, because if they want to they will find a way.

Anyway I just wanted to let you know that having an older boyfriend can work out....not really sure that age should be an's what they're like that counts!

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