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14 year old wants to go to Edinburgh by train with his friends - what would you say?

(39 Posts)
DIYMum Sun 21-Apr-13 19:35:04

My son has got it into his head that it would be a great idea to go to Edinburgh (1 1/2hour trip by train) with a group of 6 friends at half term.
I had misgivings, not because I think they will get into trouble, (they are all pretty sensible) but because a group of teenage lads may attract unwanted atention from others, who might not be so nice.
He is keen to have some independence, which i understand.
I have suggested that I would go too (separately) just so there is a responsible adult on hand. He has gone 'ape' at the idea, and thinks hewill be the laughing stock with his friends.
I've told him either I go or its not happening.
Am I being over-protective?

SirChenjin Mon 22-Apr-13 17:53:31

It does MrsJay - it would be lovely to have the same holidays so that we can spend more time together as a family sad

mrsjay Mon 22-Apr-13 15:08:28

that must do your head in sirchenjin my friend works in Falkirk but her Children are in school in Stirling they get different holidays sometimes and inservice days

SirChenjin Mon 22-Apr-13 14:13:37

Does anyone else wish that Scotland would just do one set of holidays? I work in one region (so get their local holidays), DH in another region (ditto) and the DCs go to school in another region (ditto again). It's a flipping nightmare trying to plan a/l. Is it the same in other parts of the UK? confused

mrsjay Mon 22-Apr-13 12:53:06

just Monday the 6th for our schools, 1 week in October we do get a week now in February so maybe that is how it balances out

mrsjay Mon 22-Apr-13 12:51:23

OH we never used to just mayday weekend but not the other one my friend in larnarkshire gets it you know I might just check our holidays

chocoluvva Mon 22-Apr-13 11:40:43

Oh. Are you sure? (Do you get two weeks in Oct?)

Sorry to go of topic.

mrsjay Mon 22-Apr-13 11:13:00

mrsjay - there's another long weekend towards the end of may.

ah ok we don't get that holiday here

chocoluvva Mon 22-Apr-13 11:05:04

mrsjay - there's another long weekend towards the end of may.

chocoluvva Mon 22-Apr-13 11:03:17

I'd let him go provided he contacts you a couple of times during the day. I'd ask for another contact number too - I've ocassionally texted my DS's friend if DS isn't getting in touch while he's a 20 min train journey away.

Advise them to stay out of the alleys and stick to the main streets. Tell him to spread his money, phone etc round him - not all in one pocket. make sure he has enough money with him and charge/credit in his phone.

Let him know that this will be a test for the summer holidays - only if he follows your rules will he be allowed to do similar in the summer hols.

lljkk Mon 22-Apr-13 09:41:19

if the friends are reliable I would let him go.
I imagine I would insist that he answer all my texts within half an hour & probably text him 2 or 3 times during his time away.

Eeeeeowwwfftz Mon 22-Apr-13 09:33:58

Day trip. Yes. At that age I was going to places like Bristol and Plymouth on my own - and Edinburgh's nicer and safer than both.

On the other hand if they were planning to stay overnight I would insist on a chaperone.

GoblinGranny Mon 22-Apr-13 09:21:27

Half term here is the week beginning 25th May mrsjay.

GoblinGranny Mon 22-Apr-13 09:19:50

It's one of those times where the fact that my DS, now 18, has AS is a big advantage.
He's driven by logic and reason, rather than teenage bravado and worrying about what things will look like to other people. smile
So the first couple of times, he thought having me within easy help distance made sense. He didn't tell his mates, and he used his phone happily to check in with me to say where they were going next, as several of his friends did with their parents.
Now they pop up and down regularly in a pack with no worries.

mrsjay Mon 22-Apr-13 09:18:44

where do you live that you get half term confused there isn't any other holidays apart from mayday

SirChenjin Mon 22-Apr-13 09:09:27

I would let him, but would have contingency plans in place, eg meeting place if they get separated, phone numbers shared etc. He definitely won't be able to do the zoo, dungeons etc in one day though - the zoo alone is a bus journey out of the city centre, and takes quite a while to walk around. Edinburgh is a safe city with lots of tourists milling about, so he and his friends won't stand out or attract attention.

<I may also be tempted to just happen to take a later train in/earlier train out without him knowing, but that's just me grin>

mrsjay Mon 22-Apr-13 09:04:00

He plans to go to zoo, dungeons etc. Just for the day, coming home about 6.00

he wont be able tod o all that and come home by 6 grin he would need to get the train into town after the zoo i would be sweating thinking about it, but yes I would let him go with his friends why not

DIYMum Mon 22-Apr-13 08:55:32

Thanks GG
I had planned to keep a low profile and just do some shopping and suggested that his friends need never know but alla bit cloak and dagger for me and him I think.
I don't think he and his mates will go looking for trouble so I'm inclined to let him go with some guidelines.
Thanks for all the advice, will be back to discuss the next dilemma soon no doubt!

GoblinGranny Mon 22-Apr-13 08:27:34

That's harsh Ehric, perhaps in another 10 years you might have a little more empathy with someone who has a teenager beginning to strike out on his own.
Op, you need to talk with him and negotiate an acceptable balance for both of you. Edinburgh's main streets are pretty safe, and if he's with a group he will be fine. The danger comes if they argue, split up or decide as a group to do something stupid. How likely are those scenarios with your DS and his mates?
If you do decide to be in Edinburgh at the same time, there is no reason for his friends to know.

stargirl1701 Mon 22-Apr-13 08:19:54

I was just being silly!

EhricLovesTeamQhuay Mon 22-Apr-13 07:52:21

You are being unfair and overprotective IMO. It's not like he wants to go clubbing!

GoblinGranny Mon 22-Apr-13 07:44:47

I did that the first couple of times with my lad when he went to London with friends. He was happy that I did it though, I was just in the same city at the same time so that if anything did go wrong, I'd be there that bit faster.
But your DS hates the idea.
Make it a rule that he has to stick with his friends, and that his phone remains on. He'll be fine.

DIYMum Mon 22-Apr-13 06:53:40

Ok Ok RTB I get the message.
I hadn't actually intended following them around, but take your point.
However, bad things do happen (however unlikely), and I felt it would be irresponsible to be 1 1/2 hours away if they did.
I do like to know where he is and what he's up to as I think that's a parents job. I see plenty of teenagers in my own city centre who's parents have given them freedom, drinking and behaving badly.
I do remember what it was like being 14 and I wouldn't have gone ape with my parents, would have respected their judgement, done as I was told and told them they were right to show concern..... Hahahahahaha

roundtheback Mon 22-Apr-13 01:28:13

You can't follow them around shock No wonder he went ape!

Can you really not remember what it's like to be 14? Just imagine having your mother watching you from 10 paces away all day when you were out with your mates confused. "Laughing stock" doesn't even begin to describe what he would be. "Social pariah" would be closer!

ItsRainingOutside Mon 22-Apr-13 01:05:25

My dd and her friends get the bus into town (not a city I admit) on their own and they're 12. I got the train to my local city (30 miles away) with my friend when I was 11. 14 is too old to be telling him no.

ssd Sun 21-Apr-13 20:35:02

why not stargirl?

at that age Glasgow has a lot more going for it that Edinburgh

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