Graduates coming back home(8 Posts)
Does anyone else have their house filling up again as the offspring return after graduating? I'm feeling quite daunted - not because I'm not glad to see them, help them etc, and they are lovely to have around, but it wasn't quite what I was expecting. I think a support thread might be a good idea for when times are hard ...
Well my son hasn't gone yet but your experience is definitely that of all my friends with graduates. Spent yesterday with my oldest friend and her son has been back a year no sign of going and her daughter will be back in about 2 months!
I was the graduate who went home last year Luckily I got a job and a flat pretty quickly, but the vast majority of my uni friends are now back home. I feel sorry for the parents
Eldest is graduated and was home for a year after then rented flat in london with old school friends. I worked full time at that point and she was on a grad scheme in London. We both were knackered and she slipped back to pre-uni days. I realised my error and quickly stated rules i.e. she does her own washing and ironing, she occasionally cooks dinner for us, she helps with cleaning. In return I stopped nagging as she left the house each day with my (out of habit) 'have you got your...' questions and everything else which drove her crazy. We got it working by the end but it isn't easy. She is home lots now, comes down for weekends often.
They feel a bit rubbish to be home after spending 3 years growing in independence, having a lot of fun and becoming a really qualified adult expecting great things when they graduate. Friends move in with boyfriend/girlfriends or are able to afford not to be at home and it all gets to them that this isn't what they expected.
DD2 is at uni now, graduates next year, and is planning on moving straight to london because she has a job lined up there and has the savings plus will have enough salary to rent with a stretch. I love her being around and am a bit gutted she isn't moving back for long but at the same time think it is for the best. She loves home and said 'if I come back properly, I may never leave!'
DS on the other hand has come back and is living at home while still at uni as london rent got so expensive.
Still got DD3 at home, few years til she will be going to uni and so no empty nest yet!
It feels like we are in a 'transitional period' with so many changes all the time and everyone off in all different places. We get used to one arrangement and then it is all change and we have to readjust.
I have 3 DDs. DD1 is 25 and graduated a few years ago. She came home for a few months after finishing uni but she was alreadt engaged and just stayed until she got married then they moved to London. DD2 is 23 and graduated last year. She didn't come home,got a flat with 2 friends after she graduated and staye up in Kingston, She did a Drama degre but has got a job in a hotel for the moment while she is looking dfor something more suited to her qualification. She origanally wanted to go into Acting but now says she wants to do something creative, We would always take them back home if that's what they needed but it would be very dificult for them now. DD2's friends have mostly noved away and last time she came home for a few days shedidn't meet any the ones still around. She has made a life for herself in Kingston.
I think it does depend where you come from. I am in Brighton and most people do come back here because they love it and it is close to London
I think you are probably right noddy. We live in Cardiff and both DD1 and 2 are now in London. In fact DD2's best friend has moved to London.
DD3 is off to uni in the Autumn but I can see hner coming back.
Yes I think that is it! ALl my friends live in London or Brighton and all grads back home. Also rents very high as well and salaries low!
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