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help me sensitive to dd about facial hair

(18 Posts)
mrsjay Tue 16-Apr-13 10:03:00

I don't know how to approach her gently about it she has hair on her top lip not surprising as we are all dark skinned and quite hairy , she shaves her legs gets her eyesbrows done we can talk about stuff and I will tell her she needs her eyebrows done and she is fine with it, but I don't know how to say to her about her top lip, I think she may have shaved it but it seems to be growing back thicker . I know i should be able to just say but I dont want to draw attention to it

DeepRedBetty Tue 16-Apr-13 10:04:26

Could you try buying the right product for the job and giving it to her?

mrsjay Tue 16-Apr-13 10:06:41

I suppose i could just do that I do it with everything else and say this is how you use it

PinkPepper Tue 16-Apr-13 10:29:58

Why do you tell her she needs her eyebrows done? Maybe it doesn't bother her?

Maybe somehow let her know you're fine with helping her remove the hair but I wouldn't really suggest she has to or should.

DeepRedBetty Tue 16-Apr-13 10:35:15

dd1 tried shaving her forearms, which was a bad idea... I bought a product ostensibly for myself and talked in general terms about it in her presence. I know she uses it, as it keeps going down and I replace it, and she doesn't have hairy forearms any more. dd2 is fair and dp is still just as hairy as ever and I don't actually use it myself grin. Job done and teenage mortification avoided.

mrsjay Tue 16-Apr-13 10:43:08

I dont tell her anything I dont do my eye brows either but she didnt like them so I suggested she could get them waxed if she likes and she did I just remind her she might want an appointment IYSWIM. pink you are right maybe it doesn't bother her I never push it I just think with her shaving it it is bothering her,

deep I am going to just do that buy something and leave it if she uses it she uses it if she doesn't well . I am not sure why i feel awkward about this

LittleBairn Tue 16-Apr-13 10:46:11

As someone who is seriously hirsutism and has been since late teens I would say making sure she understands about hair growth and methods of removing it then leave her alone about it.
DON'T remind her of her eyebrows there is no need for this, all you will do is cause insecurity.
She has a mirror and can see her own reflection, pointing out flaws she can see herself will not be helpful.

mrsjay Tue 16-Apr-13 10:47:55

Fair enough Littlebairn i would hate to hurt her feelings she usually asks anyway

TheWoollybacksWife Tue 16-Apr-13 10:55:06

How old is your daughter?

I had dismal teenage years due to excessive facial hair. I used to sit on the bus with my head tucked down into my chest and my hand over my lower face to try to minimise the hurtful comments from strangers. My mother was useless until I was almost suicidal. At this point she took me to the doctors and I was finally diagnosed with PCOS. The pill then helped, along with some painful electrolysis.

About 2 years ago I bought an IPL machine and it has transformed me. It was a significant one off cost but when you add up all the bleaching, waxing and general faffing costs I think it has paid for itself already.

It is hard to talk about stuff to a sensitive teenager, but I would have appreciated an understanding mum who wanted to help. There may be an underlying cause of her problem, such as PCOS, and a hormone based treatment may help to minimise the visible hairs. I have had a very similar conversation with my DD1 who ended up with a PCOS diagnosis.

Good luck.

mrsjay Tue 16-Apr-13 10:58:10

she is 15 she does have bad skin too a family member has PCOS I am not sure she has been having bother with her periods for a while the DR gave her ponstan to reduce flow,

MissFredi Tue 16-Apr-13 11:10:29

My mum just came out with it when she noticed mine. All the women in my family are very pale, with very dark hair, and I was about 16, and she just basically said "look, we've all got one, your auntie, your grandma, me, and now you're getting one, don't shave it or it'll be worse. " so I started waxing it at the same time I do my eyebrows. Which has reminded me, I really need to do it...blush

On the other side of it though, one of my closest friends (similar skin and hair) has an incredible beard going on for such a young lady(22 now - 17 when I first noticed it) and her mother didn't tell her about it. Which led to my very awkward attempt to let her know without embarrassing her in front of my parents. Needless to say she still has it. hmm

fifietta Tue 30-Apr-13 19:01:38

thewoollybackswife...we also have a hair issue in our family. Which IPL machine did you buy and did it really work?

mrsannekins Tue 30-Apr-13 19:09:51

How would you feel about going for a girlie trip to a beauty place together, for nails etc, and have waxing, or maybe threading, together, maybe make it a bit of fun? A colleague of mine has been doing this with her older teenage daughter for a while and they both look forward to it!

TBH I've had a problem with unwanted hair for years and years, and wish my mum had been a bit more encouraging about what to do about it, rather than just pointing out when a new black ugly hair sprang up!

TheWoollybacksWife Tue 30-Apr-13 19:13:50

I got a Boots own brand one. I have looked on their website recently and it shows as "Out of Stock" so I don't know if it is discontinued. It is fab even for someone as lazy as me as I don't use it every week blush DD1 has used it too with great results.

fifietta Tue 30-Apr-13 21:03:14

That sounds fantastic...has it reduced the amount of hair/got rid of it entirely?

ethelb Tue 30-Apr-13 21:16:32

It is expensive but laser treatment is a great option esp if you have bad skin as hair removal methods can make skin worse

TheWoollybacksWife Tue 30-Apr-13 21:20:29

It has had a dramatic effect on the amount of hair and also slowed down the regrowth time too. I've used it twice since Christmas and decided today that I need to do it again. Honestly it takes longer to unpack it and set it up than it does to use it - I am just lazy.

I have also started to use it on my underarms and should start on my legs and bikini line before the summer to avoid my usual panic of starting hair removal at my toes ankles and stopping at my eyebrows.

OkayHazel Fri 03-May-13 01:55:08

'DD, I bought this cream for female facial hair, fancy trying it with me?'

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