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Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

Teenagers

Yay! I've survived his childhood!

30 replies

flow4 · 15/04/2013 07:57

My DS1 is 18 today. And I've lived to tell the tale! Parts of the past couple of years have been pretty grim, but he does actually seem to be growing up. :) And from now on, if he messes up, it's not my fault! Oh, I know that's over-simplifying things, but you know what I mean... Grin I feel a real sense of relief!

Anyone else had powerful emotions like this as their kids reach their 18th birthdays?

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TheNebulousBoojum · 15/04/2013 08:24

I used to regard every birthday he made as a personal triumph!
I had similar feelings, not when he reached 18, but when he got to the end of compulsory schooling. Sheer joy at the juggling gelignite becoming optional.
So enjoy, I suspect there's a lot of us that know how you feel. Grin

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flow4 · 15/04/2013 08:29

Thanks, Nebulous! I had a brief taste of relief when he reached the end of compulsory ed too; but then he messed around in his first year in college and nearly dropped out, then nearly got kicked out, so relief was replaced by panic! I hope it lasts a bit longer this time... Grin

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MoominsYonisAreScary · 15/04/2013 10:04

Yes! Ds1 was 18 in feb, we had a few awful years from 13-15 and this last 2 years have been stressful with him messing around his first year of college then the government stopping funding for the 2nd year just has he was due to start cue 8 months of him sat around the house and me nagging.

Anyway he started work a couple of months ago, an apprenticeship in electrical and mechanical engineering and is also working in a pub at night. It's such a relief.

His youngest brother was born the week before he turned 18 though so I have lots more years to go Grin

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flow4 · 15/04/2013 10:30

Congratulations to you too then, Moomins! Grin
Though I can't quite imagine doing another 18 years! I just have 5 to go, and then I'm freeeeeeeeeeee! Grin

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TheNebulousBoojum · 15/04/2013 11:14

Dream on flow, mine are now 18 and 22. Grin
Still not completely Freeeeee! They need jobs and to move out before I can really become the decadent bohemian I was meant to be.

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flow4 · 15/04/2013 15:03

Grin Ahhh, you're going to be a decadent Bohemian too, are you Nebulous?!

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flow4 · 15/04/2013 15:05

Surely we can just abandon them soon now?!

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HighNoon · 15/04/2013 18:20

Congratulations Flow - you deserve your freedom! I hope I feel the same in the next few years - just trying to get through next 8 weeks (GSCEs). I've taken so much hope and inspiration from your (and Maryz's) bang on advice about how to get through these difficult times. Here's to you! Thanks Wine

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TheNebulousBoojum · 15/04/2013 18:44

'Surely we can just abandon them soon'

He finds his way home every time. He's even got a railcard. And a compass.

DD will be heading back when she's finished her degree, looking at the current job situation. Sad

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chocoluvva · 15/04/2013 21:38

Aww Grin and Smile at this thread!

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flow4 · 15/04/2013 22:11

Thanks HighNoon and choco :)

Neb, I bumped into a woman I haven't seen for a year or so the other day...
"How are you?" I asked.
"Oh great!" she grinned...
"And how are your girls?"
"Oh I left them!" she said, "I'd had enough! They're living with their dad and I've moved in with my boyfriend! It's time for me now!"
Her daughters are 17 and 20...
Envy

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chocoluvva · 15/04/2013 22:21

flow4 you don't mean that! You'll miss the complaints about your tofu stir-fries Wink

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TheNebulousBoojum · 15/04/2013 22:23

Years ago, in the middle of the night, my friend's house caught fire.
She leapt out of bed, grabbed a son in each arm and barreled through the house like a prop forward on speed.
Standing in the garden in 6" of snow, watching the flames, her sons looked down at her and said 'Mum, WTF happened?'
Yup, she'd dragged her babies clear of disaster. They were 20 and 21 and built like the proverbial outhouses.
Always our babies really!

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chocoluvva · 15/04/2013 22:25

That's amazing.

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NeoMaxiZoomDweebie · 15/04/2013 22:30

Congrats OP! Grin Nebulous that reminds me of my Mum who at 5 foot nothing, hurdled her way out of our kitchen via the open window...which reached her chest almost...to get to the garage where my 20 year old brother was trapped. He had two arms in casts and smoke was billowing out of the closed door....she just LEAPED at close range...like a powerful athlete while I stood open mouthed. SO funny to see in retrospect.

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flow4 · 15/04/2013 22:47

Amazing story Neb, and Neo!
choco, I haven't tried to feed him tofu for about 8 years! But now I come to think of it... Wink Grin

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MuchBrighterNow · 16/04/2013 06:37

Congrats Flow on nurturing your Ds into adulthood !
Maybe tofu stirfrys are the secret to driving encouraging them out of the nest.

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flow4 · 16/04/2013 08:15

Thanks Brighter!

wanders off whistling to find tofu

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mrsjay · 16/04/2013 09:29

well done for getting him there I have 1 adult yeah right and a 15 yr old the adult is 20 and still needs that guidance bt at least I got to 18 without anything major happening now only 1 to go Grin

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DeafLeopard · 16/04/2013 09:34

Congratulations flow and happy birthday newly-adult-baby-flow

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flow4 · 16/04/2013 12:38

Thanks mrsjay and DeafL :)
I know I don't get to resign just yet... But I have found the last few years rather stressful, because the world saw me as responsible for him, and although I've still had some influence, I haven't actually had any control! Hmm

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mindfulmum · 16/04/2013 17:31

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Maryz · 16/04/2013 17:50

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Goblinchild · 16/04/2013 17:56

Camper van, that's the answer Maryz.
Join me when I run away and we could start our own travelling commune/convoy.
They'd never find us, we could just text occasionally from a disposable phone .

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Maryz · 16/04/2013 18:52

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