DD passed her test recently and it seems a bit daft that she is old enough to drive a car around but still asks what time she needs to be in.
She texts me at around 10 sometimes and says 'can I stay out til midnight'. And I just text back of course.
I know where she is (around a friend or boyfriend's house, not driving around aimlessly) and she doesn't stay out late on a school night. I am just getting to the point where I say that she makes up her own mind whatever time she gets in but just wondered what everyone else does.
Like Secret - it's not about saying "by x time" so much as knowing where they are / when they expect to be back. I've always had that rule though. ds isn't quite 17 yet (Summer Birthday) so I don't know if it makes a difference, but can't think it would.
My 17 year old DS lives away during the week and is at home at the weekend. It would probably be unreasonable for us to put a curfew on him as we have no controls over what he is up to during the week. However, as I am a worrier he is good about coming home when he says he will etc.
Incidentally he has a fairly new girlfriend also 17 who stays with us most weekends. Her parents met DH once when he picked DS up from her house but I find it strange that they entrust us with her care but have never been over to meet us, see where we are etc. maybe it's because they are fairly grown-up and you have to give them trust by that sort of age?
I was pretty much the same as you, so long as I knew what time to expect them back there was no curfew. To me it's courtesy that we all let each other know what time we'll be back by so no-one is up worrying about us.
DS2 is only just 18. He is only allowed to go out at the weekend - not because we're especially over-bearing, but this has been as a long-term 'punishment' for lack of college work, poor performance and poor AS results. It's also to keep his dope-smoking to a minimum, as this was something that we were very concerned about.
But even when he is out, he does have to be home by an agreed time. Usually it's midnight. More often than not though, on a Friday, he will stay over at a friend's.
It's really difficult to let them go, treat them like grown ups but also keep a watch over them. Happily for us, DS2 goes along with this seemingly very willingly. He know that if he says he will be home by a certain time, then he has to be home by that time.
she is sensible and mature enough to let you know what time she will be in, I never did curfews althoygh dd was still at school at 17 so I did like her in no later than 10 30 on a school night but apart from that as long as I knew she was safe and ok and what time she would be home then that was fine, My mum was also OTT about curfews and i was grounded at 17 for staying out at a party I was working bloody full time