please can anyone give me advise on my situation. my 19 year old son is never in and is always out with his girlfriend and mates. he works very part time and when he is not at work, he wakes up goes straight out and wont return home until midnight. when we do see him he doesnt want to talk to us saying we are all boring. i feel we are just keeping a roof over his head, otherwise he wants nothing to do with us.is this just a normal teenage phase. i would love to know if your sons have a relationship with you as parents and spend time together. thank you
When I was 18 my mum and dad reported me missing to police as I went to work on a Monday and I never came home for a week and I forgot to ring them! I can't even remember what I was up to but within five years I was married with a baby and a mortgage. So I assume your ds is sowing his wild oats.
He sounds normal talk to him about it is he eating meals at home? DD is either at college work or at her boyfriends I thought that was what most 19yr olds did , she does text if she isn't in for dinner but she can do what she likes she is almost 20, honestly it is fine
This is normal wood, buuuut... Personally I don't feel it's ok for an older teen/legal adult to 'freeload' completely and not contribute in any way to the household and family he lives in. I have just (after a lot of argument negotiation) agreed with my own DS1 (18) that if he wants to continue to live here, he needs to cook a family meal once a week, help out with general housework and odd jobs, and clean up after himself. This is a family not a hotel, so even if the life he's living keeps him 'out of sync' with the rest of us, he needs to respect the people he's living with and make the effort occasionally. It took a year, but he does seem finally to have realised I'm not being unreasonable!
Just because it is completely normal teenage behaviour does not mean it does not need dealing with. Are we just to roll our eyes? Young people gain their feeling of self-worth from achieving, not from just being allowed to do whatever they want.
Coming in and out, doing their own thing. So what is that? Taking what they need from the home and giving nothing back. It's passive rudeness. He is nearly an adult but he won't take the step into adulthood if he is just allowed to treat life like a sweet shop.
I hope he is paying and doing chores. What do you do for him?
He sounds selfish and rude.
Does he have siblings.
Do you do anything together? Will he come out with you if you go out to the pub, to eat or to the cinema
My DS's 18 and 20 do spend time with us. We eat out together once a week to eat which helps us keep in touch with one another. I also play sport with them and play on the computer with them. I don't spend hours with them though. My eldest is much nicer now that he is in his 2nd year at Uni. When he comes home for holidays he is much more appreciative of 'home' and family.
I didn't mean that flossie i meant going to work college friends out to the pub being a 19 year old is norma,l being rude and disrespectful isn't maybe it was my lack of punctuation or page breaks that made it look like I quoted you saying something you didn't but did you mean to sound so rude