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Keep pushing or back off (DD1 age 14)

(3 Posts)
EffieM Thu 28-Mar-13 13:07:58

My first post here, hope you can help .
My eldest is academically bright, capable at a lot of things but not extraordinarily talented at anything - a lot like me! I know I failed to do pretty much everything well at her age and I am so desperate that she doesn't underachieve like I did.
With GCSE results starting to come in for some subjects, she is not getting top grades. I know she is unhappy with these results but is it just because she knows I expect better? She is also supposed to be sorting a work ex placement for November but is resisting trying to get in major organisations, openly preferring an easy option like local tea rooms.
The trouble is, she gets so moody and helpless and gives up when she gets challenged. How can I be sure she doesn't regret thing the way I do? Push or back off?

Maat Thu 28-Mar-13 13:19:10

Oh dear, 14 is a very difficult age.

Like you, I didn't achieve what I could at school but that was more to do with the fact I didn't see any goal. I was very much "what's the point?"

Grades only mean something to a teenager if they open doors to something they want to do.

I always encouraged my DC to aim for what they wanted rather than what we/the school/college etc would want.

Does your dd have any ambitions / dreams?

EffieM Thu 28-Mar-13 14:31:18

Thanks maat, she had expressed an interest in journalism when she was at primary school. Seems to have gone off it now but nothing else has sparked her interest so she is reluctantly sticking with journalism/media for want of any other ideas. I really agree that having your own goals will help a teen, but she really doesn't have them.

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