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does anyone know how to block suicide tumblr sites on ipad?

(12 Posts)
exasperatedemma Sat 23-Mar-13 14:09:54

I've just checked my 14 yr old DD's Tumblr (she accidently left it logged in) and seen that she is following sites such as "deadinsidemyuglybody" "skinnydepression", "daddysdepressedgirl" etc etc - I didn't know about these - they are horrific and show video clips on a loop of people cutting themselves and doing all sorts of things that would warp a young girls mind.

The other day, two of her friends contacted me to say they were very worried about her state of mind and that she seems to be depressed. I spoke to dd and she said that sometimes she does feel down but is mostly ok, and I have to say that's probably a fair picture. We talked about mood swings, changes etc and how its quite normal to feel like this and she said she feels very loved and supported by us. I get the feeling that she is being influenced by what she is seeing on these images/videos and is living it. She said that her friends are probably worried because of he Tumblr and I shouldn't look at it. Naturally that would of course make me concerned so I checked it today.

I'm going to talk to her about it but of course, short of keep looking over her shoulder all the time, even if she de-selects these site, I don't know if there is a technical way of blocking them on the ipad? any help or views gratefully received. thank you.

TyroneDontMoan Sat 23-Mar-13 20:54:56

Message deleted by Mumsnet for breaking our Talk Guidelines. Replies may also be deleted.

Smudging Sat 23-Mar-13 21:13:49

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

mindfulmum Sun 24-Mar-13 02:05:56

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ll31 Sun 24-Mar-13 08:47:42

Agree go go route asap, but stopping internet access-if she has anaerohone then she's access as soon as she walks out door, so not sure stopping access in house will do more than antagonize her at time when you want to keep talking.

Linclass Sun 24-Mar-13 10:00:09

It was my DD Tumblr account, that confirmed her depression to me! I only wish I had found this earlier before she's now miles away at Uni!

Tumblr seems to be full of teenagers and young adults who suffer from, anxiety low self esteem and depression. It's a way they can verbalise their thoughts and feelings along with these graphic images too. They can post anomalously under these pseudonym's and many are connected to the manga and anime media another very dark side to this is teh cross over into pornography, I have seen lots of disturbing images on this subject too.

Now whilst half of me thinks OK, it's good they can see many others have similar feelings, the other half thinks its not good that they become exposed to so many negative images and thoughts either, because there is no positive input to tell them these anxiety feelings are 'normal' part of growing up, negativity breeds negativity.

I have spent the past 6 months working out how Tumblr works, trying to keep track of DD's account [she's keeps deleting and making new ones] as a way to gauge how down she is.

I did try the blocking the internet/supervising route with my DD when she was at 6th form but it didn't work, I couldn't be there 24/7. I just wish I hadn't wasted our time doing this and got her some talking therapy, when she was at home for us to support her!

exasperatedemma Sun 24-Mar-13 11:50:38

thank you, your comments are much appreciated and very helpful. Didn't read the Tyronne one before it got blocked just as well probably.

I spoke to her this morning and she is in defiant mood about her ipad being taken away at the moment - I explained that I just wanted to hang on to it for a bit until we can find a way that she can use it but be safe at the same time. She says she doesn't know why she looks at them, says she likes tumblr for looking at pictures of clothes, music and sunshine and will delete these links.

I explained that I am very worried about the unrestricted access that it provides and how she can come across images, video clips that she might choose or accidently view that can be damaging and when she has been on Tumblr viewing all these clips, her mood changes dramatically. This has all been so sudden - over the last week or so since she started looking at these clips, up until then she has been happy, balanced (well as much as a 14 yr old can be!). I have to say that I am having trouble forgetting the images and clips I saw and really wish I hadn't so what that does to an impressionable teenager is really frightening.

CandyCrushed Sun 24-Mar-13 21:44:56

You need to get a decent Internet security program for your home WiFi. You can then block any individual site you want or any sites that obtain certain words or phrases. You can get program's that will send you a list (daily by email,if you want) or every website visited via your WiFi. If you use something like this she will know you know what she is looking at without actually banning any sites.

It is harder to control internet access on cellular(3G) devises such as mobile phones but it is not impossible.

mindfulmum Mon 25-Mar-13 08:38:04

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

exasperatedemma Mon 25-Mar-13 10:03:49

Thank you, I think she does need help and have talked to her about it but she absolutely refuses, I don't know how to help her if she won't accept help. Very worried today after seeing some of her messages to friends over the last week

mindfulmum Mon 25-Mar-13 19:36:40

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

exasperatedemma Tue 26-Mar-13 11:44:52

thank you mindfulmum, really appreciate your advice and sorry to hear your daughter ended up in hospital. Hope she is coping?/better?

I foolishly thought that we could have one big talk and sort out a plan of action. But I realise now (and remember too how I have felt in the past when I've been very low) that it just doesn't work like that. it can be a long, slow climb back to happiness and contentment so I think I will as you say be gentle, but persistent. I think that she is also affected by the seasons as she was very similar at this time last year, had slowly gone downhill from Feb, was unhappy at school and got fixated on moving schools as a solution with a whole lot of anger towards us for not letting her.

Fortunately, she says that school is ok and she is happy when she's there. Looking back now, I can see that it wasn't just a desire to move schools but just one part of the whole picture. I really feel for her because I think she doesn't have a specific reason for being unhappy, she just is and for her to understand that herself is very hard, so as you say, help her to understand that its not her fault, and she isn't choosing to be unhappy. I looked a the youngminds and getconnected websites yesterday and I will mention these to her, I think its probably best that I just drip feed things but just try to keep things open between us so that she feels she can talk to me.

Sadly we can't go away this easter, we do usually for a few days but my son needs to (start!) revising for his GCSEs, he is in denial! but I have arranged a few days where we're out - she definitely is better to be kept fairly busy but not overwhelmed, she sinks lower when she's bored for sure.

thank you again, I have printed off your comments to keep as a reminder to myself.

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