Agree totally it's very hard being a teen these days.
Adressing the OP directly... I suspect I managed DS move away fom rugby to other hobbies. Probably not what he really wanted, I'm sure he could have been really good but he's had 3 seasons where he's spent most of it injured and has had friends who have sustained awful injuries - eg. Smashed lower femur/ disrupted knee joint combo - probably lifelong impairment and another broken wrist at AS module time. As ds had already had a neck injury, serios calf tear and fractured collarbone, it seemed at odd with his academic aspirations , so I just kind of didn't encourage it - but neither did I say "don't" or refuse to take him training.
I feel a bit guilty- he loves rugby, but at this stage in his education (AS year) a significant injury that took him out of school for evn a few weeks (and it wouldn't have to be anything really dreadful to do that - just something that needed surgery /pins etc) could stuff up the high grades he needs to follow te career path he has chosen. It's really difficult
Katymac good luck to your dd, hope it all works out or her in the end. There is almost always more than one route to the goal.