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estrangement from children

(9 Posts)
Unicorncatsack Mon 17-Oct-16 14:46:14


Some many men are also like that.

happymumof4crazykids Mon 17-Oct-16 14:42:17

My oh has zero contact with his DD from his first marriage. He had her twice a week for a for a year after the breakdown of their marriage but then suddenly she refused to see him. When pressed as to why she said it was because it hurt her mummy's feelings if she did. Parental alienation at its best! "Mummy was really sad when daddy left and is really sad when I see daddy. If daddy doesn't love mummy anymore then he doesn't love me." She was 6 sad Best was it was the wife who had an affair. Some women are just evil and will use the children to hurt their ex partner!

Mymouthgetsmeintrouble Mon 17-Oct-16 14:24:08

Theres no smoke without fire imo

Mybeardeddragonjustdied2016 Mon 17-Oct-16 14:21:57

Maybe just accepting that's how the child is feeling AT THAT TIME is helpful?
My ds then 14 was in trouble at school and tried to keep things from me - shared care with ex but when trouble arose they both kept me in the dark - (ex didn't want to admit he wasn't coping) ds wouldn't text or talk to me but sent abusive messages through other 2x ds. I left him to it for 6 months (did text Xmas and new year but no replies) until he text me this summer and moved in full time!! Big shocker and some mighty big revelations about life with his df! All good now tho hurt like hell at the time. Life has funny ways of coming good in the end.

Unicorncatsack Mon 17-Oct-16 14:17:14

nanny just to give another perspective my Dad is always telling anyone who will listen that my mother poisoned me against him.

She didn't. I have my own eyes and ears.

Li1z2z3i4e5 Mon 17-Oct-16 14:15:11

Are there any groups in the London area where parents of estranged children can meet up?

nanigoat Fri 08-Feb-13 16:51:09

How awful for him and for you too seeing him go through it for all these years.

NannyPlumIsMyMum Fri 08-Feb-13 13:14:19

My DHs DD has always been challenging personality.
He could not have done any more to try and support her and do his best for her.
Her mother has been a very toxic influence on how she views her dad.
He received a letter last week from his DD telling him that she wants nothing more to do with him.
My DH has suffered depression, suicidal ideas and has had counselling because he has been so distraught about the situation for a decade now.

nanigoat Fri 08-Feb-13 12:57:57

Following on from the painful Huhne case being played out in court where his son said that he didnt want any more to do with his Dad- I think that one of the most painful experiences a parent can have is to be rejected by a child who appears to want nothing more to do with them.
If you are estranged from a child, and the estrangement is their choice rather than yours, you may feel
?frightened that you may never see your child again
?heartbroken about not being able to see your grandchildren
?confusion about whether to reach out to your child or pull away
?hurt and angry about the disrespect that you?re being shown
?tormented by guilt and shame about your past mistakes
?devastated by the loss of a good relationship
?depressed and anxious about not having your child in your life
?accused of things you never did or said
So many parents are facing estrangement from their children for all manner of different reasons and often dont know how to deal with the stress, shame and isolation associated with it-it is such a taboo subject that often parents dont reach out for help and support.I think as parents we need to open our eyes to this problem and support eachother rather than being judgemental. Whether Huhne was right or wrong in what he did-he must be feeling awful about being rejected by his child....
Hopefully with the right support he will be able to build some bridges and make good the relationship-or at worst come to terms with the estrangement, grieve and move on.
I would really like to hear your views on this and to guage how many of us in this community of parents is suffering right now.

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