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My 14 yr old ds is gay .. He doesn't know I know

(78 Posts)
cassie42 Tue 29-Jan-13 13:21:17

We have 3 fabulous dc. Our eldest, just turned 14, has always been a quiet, sensitive boy but also very witty, clever etc.
Bullying was always a major concern for me because he wasn't your typical "lad". He had a few problems with minor bullying in primary so since then I've monitored things online. He always leaves himself logged into Facebook on my phone, has no problem with me knowing his password. Last night I clicked onto fb on my phone and saw it was his account, he had left himself logged in again. I could see loads of messages flying into his inbox, being read quickly only to be followed by loads more coming in.
I had a look (I know, private messages but have already explained why I monitor them), it seems he came out to some of his class mates yesterday.
I can't say I'm shocked, think I always had an inkling and to be honest I'm happy if he is. He seems to have felt this way for a while now so assume its not just curiosity or confusion.
My question is this, do I wait for him to tell me himself? He knows I look at Facebook, he didn't delete any of the messages from last night, do I gently tell him I saw them and myself and his father want him to know we are totally cool with it?
Thanks, sorry it's long but could really use some perspective.

johnnybear71 Tue 12-Feb-13 18:45:22

oh and remember, gay or not he's a boy and they don't do talking.....Personally I'd be "I know btw, its a good thing, I love you and whenever you're ready"...x

FellatioNels0n Tue 12-Feb-13 18:52:34

First of all I think it's fabulous that he has felt confident enough to come out to his school friends at such a young age. That never would have happened 20 years ago. I don't think it's a good idea to tell him you snooped, but I do think you should try to drop things into the conversation now and again, to steer the discussion in a direction that gives him ample opportunity to tell you without needing to work his way up to a big announcement.

almostanotherday Thu 28-Mar-13 23:21:38

How's things going now?

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