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Your Teen wins....

(156 Posts)
TopsyRK Mon 28-Jan-13 17:04:32

Your teen wins as soon as you raise your voice, they are looking for conflict.

Your rules should always be...

Ask first
Tell second
Punish third

Ask them to do something, if no reaction, then tell them, if no reaction punish them, never raise your voice or argue with them as you are the parent.

Trust me not easy but it works


TopsyRK Tue 29-Jan-13 11:40:23

Hullygully...profile read...and thank you for your lovely friendly comments

TantrumsAndBalloons Tue 29-Jan-13 11:42:10


I must have been doing it all wrong when dd was climbing out of her window to meet up with boys at 1am. I should have just asked her not to do it.
And all the other stuff she was doing.

Wow if only you had posted this last year, I could have saved us a whole year of family counselling.

Honestly do you not see how utterly patronising and unhelpful that post is?

Its not about winning is it?

MuchBrighterNow Tue 29-Jan-13 11:42:51

Message deleted by Mumsnet for breaking our Talk Guidelines. Replies may also be deleted.

MuchBrighterNow Tue 29-Jan-13 11:45:12

oh bugger meant that to be in bold confused

Hullygully Tue 29-Jan-13 11:49:30

The first bit of your profile says you don't have children

I couldn't face the rest, I got the general idea that you are like god.

Can you not see that TELLING rather than engaging and suggesting is going to piss people off?

Can you not see the irony in what you are doing?

Or is it ok because you aren't SHOUTING?

GetOrf Tue 29-Jan-13 11:50:49

I like you Chris.

Tell me some more about those sausages.

<sits quietly>

GetOrf Tue 29-Jan-13 11:52:45

Oh dear.

Don't call us ladies chris.

Because we are fucking well not.

Anyway, you are missing out. It's actually great having a great shouting match with your teen children. Because at some point someone is going to trip over a shoe mid shout and you both end up laughing like drains and forget the purpose of the argument in the first place.

TopsyRK Tue 29-Jan-13 11:53:16

Troll alert? where,

I was once told never ASSUME due to ASS/U/ME

Not a troll never have been never will be, but also I will always reply to any questions asked.

Ask yourself at what stage did this post utterly patronising and unhelpful... was it before or after the wrong troll alert and attacking comments and assumptions which others made?

I have updated my profile, and am willing to answer any other questions you may have, but if in doubt why not report this whole thread or ask admin to step in and deal with it?

LifeofPo Tue 29-Jan-13 11:54:25

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Hullygully Tue 29-Jan-13 11:55:05

I think the very first post about did it.

Just appearing and dictating to people with your manly wisdom is er really going to piss people off.

Sparklingbrook Tue 29-Jan-13 11:55:43

I think he must be a mystery shopper. We are all in a huge load of trouble now. sad

Hullygully Tue 29-Jan-13 11:56:39

Look Chris, I get it, you feel you have a lot to offer, you are desperate to mansplain to us silly shouting ladies.

It's just that we don't want to hear it.

And fwiw, I think "punishing" is for losers.

I have two teenagers and we have never and will never do "punishing"

LifeofPo Tue 29-Jan-13 11:57:26

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

TantrumsAndBalloons Tue 29-Jan-13 11:57:27

It became patronising and unhelpful when you post telling people how to parent their children

You may well believe your way is the only way. Like I said, I disagree. But there is no discussion to your post. It reads do as I say or you will lose

Therefore it is idiotic.


LifeofPo Tue 29-Jan-13 11:58:22

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

TantrumsAndBalloons Tue 29-Jan-13 11:58:46

And FWIW, we actually do know about reporting things love, you dont have to helpfully point it out.

rubyrubyruby Tue 29-Jan-13 12:00:23

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Hullygully Tue 29-Jan-13 12:01:35

You're right lifeofpo

must stop ass/u/ming

<boggles at what his dc would say of him...>

CatelynStark Tue 29-Jan-13 12:02:00

If I wanted a man to tell me how to raise my children, I'd still be married grin

Thanks, Chris - I see now I've been doing it all wrong. I never punish my teens as they don't do anything to warrant it <shrugs>

BeckAndCall Tue 29-Jan-13 12:07:59

I fail to see, if you don't have children yourself, how you can possibly know what it's like 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, to be a parent?

And whatever your position of responsibility and authority, Chris, perhaps it's the position that allows you to command the respect of teenagers and not your style itself?

shine0ncrazydiamond Tue 29-Jan-13 12:08:17


Chris, my teen doesn't 'win' as soon as I raise my voice. She shits herself and does what I have told her to do. I also tend to tell her politely as opposed to creeping round her 'asking' nicely.

But thank you for your thoughts.

shine0ncrazydiamond Tue 29-Jan-13 12:10:29

I think the problem , Chris, is that your tone is rather irritating and you present your opinions as facts.

Astelia Tue 29-Jan-13 12:20:29

IME they are likely to avoid a slanging match by having tea at a friend's house then rushing in and saying they are going to do homework and mustn't be disturbed.

the punishment needs to be whatever your child will be effected by most sic. Why the obsession on punishment? I am not a fan of removing technology or grounding. I have seen no evidence from my teens or friends' teens that it achieves anything except escalating the situation.

TopsyRK Tue 29-Jan-13 12:29:32

Setting record straight...
Married twice, 4 daughters (twins included) 1 stepson (hate that label)

See children, well adults now but act like children

TheOneWithTheHair Tue 29-Jan-13 12:41:30

Actually I think this needs to be on national telly! Stop being meany weany to poor Chris.

Oh crap I forgot to ask first.

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