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16 year old birthday party

(34 Posts)
meggiepie Tue 15-Jan-13 21:49:15

My soon to be 16 year old daughter wants to have a party for her birthday. She wants me to agree to her and 2 friends renting a city centre apartment for 2 nights so she can party party party! My answer was NO WAY!! This has now caused major tantrums with me being left feeling the worst mother in the country. She threatning to leave home on her birthday as I am the only mother in the world who spoils the fun!! I have tried telling her that its very unlikely to happen but she just wont listen to reason. She now locked herself in her room tonight having yet another major tantrum. Its worse than dealing with a 2 year old!! My stress levels are reaching boiling point!! HELP!!!

sumrandomgirl Thu 17-Jan-13 18:02:46

Punching walls is hard to ignore...I had a fella who used to do that, sed it was so he didn't hit me....was coz he couldn't get his own way and this tactic used to work wiv his mum an ex girlfriends....a paddy is a paddy watever the age. Next time She kicks off let her do her worst, an a few hours later when u know she has calmed down ask her what she actually achieved by her actions, ask her if She thinks you have changed her mind. Point out that She is proving She to immature to even have a sleepover by the way she responds. And tell her once again that at the end og the day your the mum an She is the child and It will always be that way.
I tell mine I don't care if they think I am tight, I still know best an in a few yrs they will look back and realise.
It's hard these days to bring kids up correctly, so many parents dont know where their kids are or what they are doing coz its easier to say yes than face a fall out....but all they have are kids that will grow into adults with no real idea of how to behave as an adult.
My daughter is now 17, has her first serious boyfriend, went abroad for Xmas with him paid for by herself as She got an apprenticeship....I have had fights with her and slanging matches across the house an found ignoring her worked best...just as u would a 2 yr old haha

exoticfruits Fri 18-Jan-13 05:25:59

Sensible advice,sumrandomgirl.

meggiepie Sun 20-Jan-13 15:07:53

Success yesterday on the tantrum front! I ignored when she kicked off and would not speak to her which she got more annoyed about, however I just kept walking away from the situation! Eventually she calmed down enough for a reasonable conversation!! We are not now going to discuss birthday party plans for the time being (I wont be giving in on the apartment for the weekend). Here is hoping I will have a peaceful week as there is a birthday party on next weekend and she wants to go!!! Thanks everyone for listening to my moans, its great to hear other views.

AtiaoftheJulii Sun 20-Jan-13 15:29:19

My (almost) 16 year old and 14 year old had a Halloween party - about 18/20 people, with dh and I upstairs. My girls had a couple of cans of cider. 3 girls arrived drunk, with a water bottle (sports bottle thing) 3/4 full of a concoction if spirits. Two of the drunk ones went out for a walk in the middle of the party, and I was wondering how responsible for them I was supposed to be. One of them was sick. And then I had to chuck an 18 year old boy out at 1am because he thought he was sleeping over with the last few 15/16 year old girls. So that was a small party and they knew parents were in the house - there is NO WAY I will be letting them do anything with less supervision for a while!

sumrandomgirl Sun 20-Jan-13 15:41:22

Glad u were able to sit down an talk, makes life so much easier, stick to your guns on the apartment, She ain't old enuf to drink or smoke legally and renting a room is just silly....She can do it for her 18th when She can legally go out an drink round the town..

And as for ignoring the paddy, well it was hard at times, but only way to stop a fall out is by being the adult haha...I soon learned when i found myself arguing with a six yr old and getting more an more wound up.. haha xx

specialsubject Sun 20-Jan-13 17:01:30

big brother must be out of his mind, and I really don't think it will happen anyway. The rental agency/landlord will know exactly what he wants it for, and will send him packing.

tell your brat that tantrums went out when she was a toddler. And not to try the' everyone else's mum's ' line because everyone knows that is a lie.

if she punches a door she pays for the damage, and for her own taxi to A and E.

anonimum Fri 13-Feb-15 12:36:29

I know that this is an old thread, but my daughter is having her 16th party here today. We are all looking forward to it, there will be lots of food, some beers and alcopops, lots of soft drinks, lots of music, around 40 of her friends, her 20 year old sister and boyfriend, her two 24 year old brothers and their girlfriends (probably some of their other friends too), me and her dad. We usually have birthday parties like this, its the way the kids have always wanted them and it seems very natural - the younger kids really like the opportunity to talk to 'grown-ups' in a social situation and we love their energy. I can't believe meggiepie gave enough credence to her daughters request to actually have a conversation with her about it - I think I'd be rolling around on the floor laughing too hard to speak.

tgvn Wed 16-Dec-15 14:01:18

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

ClaireHoulihan Wed 27-Jul-16 17:45:04

Yes, having them in a city flat for the weekend on their own is a terrible idea. The landlord wont allow it, the neighbors would potentially call the police and it could waste a lot of money but everyone needs to stop acting like they would all die. Why not instead of letting them rent a flat, let them have a house party or instead rent a field. You could rent a field from a campsite and put a gazebo up or maybe you have a friend who owns one or has a big garden you can borrow for the evening. This way they can have a 'party party' but there can still be a bit of parental overview of the situation. Yes these are young people but most of them make the right decisions and also need to learn from their mistakes. A little bit of freedom once in a while will help them learn and grow as people.

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