In a real dilemma! What should I do?(9 Posts)
Ok so I'll try to keep this as short as possible.
My 14 year old dd has been on at me for months that she wants to move school. I thought this a bit odd but didn't really heed it as I thought she wasn't really serious and she also didn't give a proper explanation of why she wanted to. She hadn't brought it up for about a month until the other day when she came home from school saying "can I move school??" "I hate it" etc etc. I said to her to stop being so ridiculous and then she burst into tears and explained to me what the problem was; she's been picked on, called names and vicious rumors being spread about her. I said I'll be phoning the school and getting it sorted again (it happened last year and the school sorted it but clearly were not that harsh about the matter) but she said no and that if I did she would go and live with her father. We then had another crying episode were again she said "please please please can I move school?" I said "once we get this sorted everything will be fine", but then she dropped another bomb shell;that she had self harmed a couple of times and she showed me the scars to prove it . Disturbed, I started crying too and I said to her we'll see but first I would book her to see a doctor about the self harming and possible depression.
I am considering letting her move schools rather than let the school do eff all. My problem is could she move? Obviously its a few months into the school year would a school accept her at this time and also would this affect her education as she is in year 9?
I really am at a dead end on how to deal with this.
If anyone could give me advice on the business with the moving schools and also is there anything else I could do about the bullying, self harm etc?
Many thanks in advance
Schools can take children at any time in the school year. I would try to find out a bit more about it all first, ie, is it the same culprits bullying as last year?
Also, you are right to get her seen by your GP. This could be a cry for help generally. best of luck.
Your poor DD My initial thought is that the reason your DD doesn't want you to contact the school is for fear of repercussions. It obviously wasn't sorted last time and I would bet your daughter thinks the only thing you contacting the school will do, is make matters worse for her. If it were my DC and they had experienced that kind of bullying before and it was still happening/had started again, I would consider moving her. Then, when I knew she would be safely out of there I would let rip at the school! If you are going to consider this it would be better sooner rather than later as she enters her GCSE work, because this could all affect her performance in her exams.
I think an appointment with the doc is a must for her and it may also help with your attempts to get her moved.
I would be moving her. Much better to do it now than in Year 10 or 11 when it will really matter.
I'd be moving her too. Your daughter doesn't feel confident that the issue will be resolved and now would be better than in Year 10.
Young Minds have some good help sections on their website.
Ring another school that she could reasonably commute to tomorrow and ask to go and look round. You can talk more in person when you get there and decide how much detail to go into. They will explain more about the transfer process.
Do it ASAP, not fair on her to be so miserable and feel she isn't being listened to despite repeated asking. I HATED secondary school due to bullying and the legacy still lives with me 26 years later.
If you do it now, she will have time to settle in and get into the flow of it before exams....it could be the making of her.
I rang around a couple of schools today and have made appointments to view them. And I also got her an appointment for a councilor so thats a step in the right direction. I really hope the school she likes best has a place as she deserves a fresh start.
Many thanks for all your answers, they really did help
My DD moved at the start of year 8, she is very happy now. Let her do it but warn her she cant change again.
My dd moved in year 8. Do it- she is a different child
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