Son does not text/call when he is out.(9 Posts)
Compared to other messages on this board my 'problem' is tiny, but so far I have not managed to resolve it.
My son is fifteen, and he's a good, easy, mature boy.
When he goes away - like to a friend, to his father, to the games workshop- I ask him to let me know that he has arrived safely, so I don't have to worry. All I want him to do is send me a text. I bought him a phone for that purpose, but he doesn't do it.
I've had many talks with him about this already. He thinks I'm exaggerating, because nothing will happen to him anyway. Of course he has a point; it is unlikely that anything will happen, but he also has dyspraxia and is consequently not very good at crossing roads, so I do worry when he is out on his own. I reckon that it is a tiny effort to send a text and put my mind at ease, but he probably forgets all about that as soon as I am out of his sight...
Do other parents expect their teenagers to let them know that they are okay and safe? Or do others let their teens go out all day without any contact?
Yes I do expect them to keep in touch. When DS1 first went anywhere without an adult he was 13 and went to a local event. He failed to text as asked and failed to check his phone. I made a massive fuss about it. He did do it again and I made even more fuss but gradually got the idea that he just needs to keep in touch and if I have asked him to text when he arrives somewhere it's not negotiable.
Your son may feel he is safe and you are over reacting. Tell him he has to do it for your benefit whether he likes it or not.
My ds is nearly 14 and dd 16.
I don't expect them to contact me...they have been out and about independently since they were 12. My mobile is rarely on anyway.
Ds goes all over SW London playing sport, and goes on public transport, and will only call if he is going to be later than expected.
SecretSantaSquirrels: Tell him he has to do it for your benefit whether he likes it or not.
I did tell him exactly that. Really frustrated that it doesn't work though; my mother said the same to me and it did work (mostly) -even though we had no mobile phones at the time.
I don't want to limit my son's freedom, but neither do I want to spend hours as a bundle of nerves, imagining all sorts of horrible scenarios...
He's 15 so he needs freedom and needs to learn to take care of himself. He also needs to learn consideration for his mother .
Mrsrudolphduvall -My mobile is rarely on anyway I understand the point you are making but surely a 13 year old should be able to contact you in an emergency?
I have a 16yr old ds and a 14 yr old dd and I don't expect either of them to report in throughout the day - I'd be looking like this --> at any teenager that did that. It really is not something to ask a teen to do.
Both mine finished school at 12 today. I haven't seen either of them so far. I can't see what difference it would make to me to know if they are at friend A's or Friend B's. If I need them for something, I could text them, but I don't. They are not little children, they are on the journey towards independence. They need to learn to text if they are not going to be back for a meal, or if they are going to be later than you would expect, but not everytime they move from one building to another.
I don't get this "what if there's an emergency" ...what did people do before mobile phones?
We have a phone at home, and dh's mobile is always on due to work.
ive tried and tried with my 16 yr old...he's so inconsiderate its untrue. ive given up phoning him because it just goes to voicemail...i give up!
Well, son returned after a jolly time (for him.. not for me).
I put on my grim face and he knew instantly what it was about. He apologized; he'd forgotten (yeah, I suspected that...) and his phone had been in his bag, so he did not hear it when I texted.
Oh well, at least he is genuinely remorseful, he accepts that his mother is neurotic, and he is perfectly willing to text to put my mind at ease... now all that remains to be done to get him to remember my existence when he doesn't actually see me!
Join the discussion
Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.Register now
Already registered with Mumsnet? Log in to leave your comment or alternatively, sign in with Facebook or Google.
Please login first.