DD is in year 9 in an all girls academic school, she hasn't been happy at school since the end of last year. Since September she has come home miserable at lot of the time as she doesn't have many friends. The super popular girls have taken against her and the girls that were her friends are sidelining her. She says it's because nobody wants to be seen to be her friend.
She has been saying that she hates her school for some time now and I've listened but taken the stance that everyone hates school at this age. I do believe that it will get better next year when they're taking options and not in the same form for all subjects. DD says that she now has a reputation as a loner and has admitted that she's being a doormat and hanging onto the group she was originally friends with rather than be on her own even though they exclude her.
I have in the past suggested that I speak to school but DD says that it will make things worse and all school do is say that someone is being bullied which sets off a load of whispering and rumours. All she wants to do is move schools and start again, she thinks that she'll never shake off the image she has.
I'm just not sure what to do for the best. We've talked today about her being a bit of a doormat with girls in her class and that perhaps being alone might be better than sitting next to them but being ignored. I wonder if she chose to not be with them rather than tagging along it might at least give her some self respect.
Really I'm looking for advice on how to help her, do I talk to school? and should I consider moving her?
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13 year old DD is begging to move schools
Walnutty · 27/11/2012 17:50
your poor DD. 
my DS went through similar but he has special needs - but i would do what ever will make life easier for her. Dont underestimate what this will be doing to her self esteem - its hard to just pick yourself up and get on with it alone.
What are the alternatives? what other schools are there, how big are they and has she really thought it through?
for me, i think the school need to be given the chance to know whats going on but your DD may well be right - in that things may not improve for her where she is. (they did for DS but only toward the very end of school when kids mature a bit)
she is being bullied but in my experience schools do not deal well with bullying well no matter what they say - however you could give them the benefit of the doubt and speak to them first - i think its so hard for girls and dd goes mental if i go over her head with anything at all.
i would i think if you can convince her, speak to the school first but dont down play how miserable a situation this is for her. If it cant be solved, i would consider her request.
//youngminds.org were very helpful when we had similar probs
moving sounds best since she doesn't rate the school re bullying
it will get better somehow 
It is a long time to be unhappy at school I think we would all be looking at ways of changing jobs etc if we were being made to feel uncomfortable and being ignored at work.
I would contact other schools and see whether they do have places and then possible venture for a look around.
If you contact the school then what can they do - as someone else said you can't make the other girls become friendly and possible all girls together enviroment isn't good for some of these girls and this is why they are behaving like this, though it happens in mixed I think it is possibly watered down by boys presence.
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