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Okay to leave dd (13) and ds (11) home alone for evening?

(22 Posts)
elastamum Mon 26-Nov-12 22:28:06

They are also 13 and 11 btw

elastamum Mon 26-Nov-12 22:27:20

Am a single parent and frequently leave DS1 and DS2 at home whilst I do school or party pick ups, walk dogs, muck out my horse, go to supermarket etc etc.

Can you imagine the fuss if I expected them to step away from the laptop, X box, facebook, or get out fo bed and come with me? grin

exexpat Mon 26-Nov-12 20:49:00

I've been leaving DS (now 14) to "babysit" DD (4 years younger) since he was 13, with no problems. I'm now happy going out for an entire evening ( to theatre, gigs and so on), but at first I only left them if I was going to be relatively close by and could return easily.

But I agree a lot depends on circumstances: how sensible the children are, whether they are happy to be left, do you live somewhere with neighbours they could call on in an emergency etc. I think your idea of trying an hour or two and building up to a whole evening out sounds sensible.

Bonsoir Mon 26-Nov-12 20:41:12

Yes of course this is fine.

bigTillyMint Mon 26-Nov-12 20:40:37

Mine are 13 and 11 (well, nearly 12) too. We leave them for an evening now, as long as it is nearby, and we can be back by 12. DD is in charge and tucks DS ingrin

To start off, we left them for the early evening and stayed nearby. We have lengthened it over about a year.

Listmaker Mon 26-Nov-12 13:42:06

I started leaving mine at that age (they are now 14 and 12) - but only if I was going to eb pretty local and not out too late. They didn't want to go to bed when it was just the two of them so we could only really do it on weekends.

We have gradually gone out for longer periods and slightly further afield but they still won't go up to bed til we're home!

flow4 Mon 26-Nov-12 04:56:47

I leave my 12yo for a couple of hours, if I'm nearby and his older brother isn't around (they wind each other up)...

surburbiangolddust Sun 25-Nov-12 21:48:51

Thanks guys. Really useful. Think we'll try leaving them both for a couple of hours and see.

PropositionJoe Sun 25-Nov-12 20:41:21

My two are 13 and 11, birthdays in Feb. I am planning to leave them to go for a meal at a friend whose house is over the road, literally. I might pop home at 9.30ish though, just to see that they are heading for bed.

Kinora Sun 25-Nov-12 19:08:06

My dd's are the same ages. We have been leaving them for a couple of hours whilst we go out for tea and drinks. We are planning to go out a bit later each time iyswim.

We are hoping to leave them next month for the full evening whilst we go to my works Christmas do.

If they are sensible then why not?

44SoStartingOver Sun 25-Nov-12 19:03:28

I do but each outing is dependent on

My proximity and speed of return if required
Lateness of hour
If responsible adult is available in case of emergency. IMO emergency can be knock at door (don't answer), power cut, first aid required, fire etc.

I make a case by case decision. I will go if out for an hour if at gym 3 mins away, but not if more than 15 mins return time.

cory Sun 25-Nov-12 18:58:49

I'd make my decision based on the individual child. Dd (16) has anxiety issues and suffers from depression, ds (12) is perfectly happy and not at all worried by the dark; both are responsible, so I'd leave ds but probably not dd. Would be very happy to leave them together as they get on well and ds has a soothing influence on dd (and I also know from experience that he would be well capable of getting help in an emergency).

surburbiangolddust Sun 25-Nov-12 18:25:06

Well, dd (13) is used to being left for several hours during the day (her school seem to have hundreds of inset days and academic mentoring days - basically an excuse for a day off) but haven't left her on her own in the evening yet. Ds (11) has been left home alone for half hour or so but again only during day and very happy for them to be alone together as they get on brilliantly (though profess to dislike each other naturally).
Don't think they'd get up to anything naughty but dd is afraid of the dark and I remember hating that about being left on my own at 13.
I think evening is really different to daytime.... And am happy to leave them during daytime but not sure about evening or am I being daft..... confused

Startail Sun 25-Nov-12 17:25:14

I've left my 11y while I ferry her 14y sister about the countryside.

She's fine for an hour or two, not crazy about late and dark, but that was her own choice. She point blank refused to come to an "exciting" school concert.
She knew it would go on late, that's why she refused to come.hmm

I'd quite happily leave her and her big sister and go for a meal. Haven't done yet as there hasn't been a reason.

DD1 is pretty unflappable, beneath her dizzy exterior, DD2 is the exact opposite. Together they'd be fine.

SoupDragon Sun 25-Nov-12 17:15:43

I'd leave my 13 year old but I would be worried about my 11 year old as he can be unpredictable and likes to fight with his brother.

For a couple of hours, yes I think I would though - I would warn the neighbour, give her mobile no to the DSs and ensure I could get home quickly and easily if necessary.

Madlizzy Sun 25-Nov-12 17:14:04

I leave my 13 year olds on their own whilst I'm out in the local area.

chocoluvva Sun 25-Nov-12 17:12:41

I'd leave them for a couple of hours too.

Bride1 Sun 25-Nov-12 17:09:51

I would leave them for an hour or two.

usualsuspect3 Sun 25-Nov-12 17:08:45

Depends how long for and how far away you are going to be.

I would for a couple of hours if I wasn't too far away.

DameEnidsOrange Sun 25-Nov-12 17:06:34

I'd start softly - maybe go for a quick drink locally early evening and build up from there?

scaevola Sun 25-Nov-12 17:06:08

How long for? How late? And how used are they to being home alone at other times?

Also (thinking of my DCs) how likely are they to murder each other?

surburbiangolddust Sun 25-Nov-12 17:04:10

So, dd now 13 and ds 11 and up til now they have and a babysitter not because they're not well behaved but more for the reassurance and company. I want to start leaving them on their own but dh is not comfortable with it and wants to know what other people do.

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