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stressful weekends: dh versus dc

(32 Posts)
gardeningmama Fri 23-Nov-12 13:09:14

How do you guys cope with opposing agendas at the weekends between dh and teenage kids? My ds 15 and dd 11, both usually want leisurely mornings, knowing they have homework and some household chores to fulfil, followed by loads of tv/facebook etc! I am inclined to let them have their slow mornings so long as I feel confident that their committments will get done (I like to think that my conversations with them covering what they need to do are enough to see that everyone is happy and generally I feel confident that my kids will fulfil their side of the bargain and generally they do, to my satisfaction). However, dh takes a much more draconian approach and he wants them up and out of bed by a designated time (by around 10am) and lots of shouting and ultimatums ensue in the style of a sargeant major. This is ALWAYS followed by unhappiness; bad tempers; bad relations; me stuck in the middle and feeling depressed and general shittiness all round for the rest of the weekend. I am fed up with it. I must admit that my feelings side with the kids - I don't like dh's approach any more than they do. Any suggestions/ideas?? HELP smile

ChristmasEvie Tue 27-Nov-12 01:34:19

Gardening, there is a great support thread in 'off the beaten track' for partners of men with Aspergers.Have a look,they are a friendly lotsmile.Its called 'quirky cassandras of quichville'.

gardeningmama Tue 27-Nov-12 17:31:32

Thank you Christmas but could you give me more details how to find the thread please? I just can't find it! It sounds like just what I am looking for.

Maryz Tue 27-Nov-12 17:35:29

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

gardeningmama Tue 27-Nov-12 17:58:20

Thanks maryz, found it!

FunBagFreddie Tue 27-Nov-12 23:17:51

Adults like to lie in at weekends and teenagers should be able to have a leisurely Saturday morning after a week at school. If you let them lie in then you can lie in. As long as things get done, I can't see a problem.

None of our family are human dynamos, and weekend lounging is very important to all of us, as it helps us all stay happy to be perfectly frank.

bubby64 Tue 27-Nov-12 23:43:26

My DH has mild Aspergers, and sounds just like yours OP!. My boys are only just 12, but they are becoming more than happy to slob around in PJs ( or tee shirt and pant!) up to and beyond lunchtimes at weekends and not really do very much, and DH wants them up, dressed and "being productive" (whatever that meansconfused) by 10am. He cannot understand why they are not "out playing with friends" like they used too!
I have the same conversation every weekend lately sayings long as they do their homework and chores, I'm not worried if they don't get dressed until after 12am!! As for chores, it does sound as if your DH is being a bit hard on your lad, and your DS must be really a nice lad as he has not given him a mouthful instead of doing the "just do this" jobs for DH!

gardeningmama Wed 28-Nov-12 09:13:59

I told my dh that I had asked mums on MN what they allowed their teens to do at weekends, re lying in and chores, that soon put him in his place and we had a much more relaxed time last w/end! I feel more empowered now to stick to my guns. thanks smile

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