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Teenagers Trying to Fit in.....TOO MUCH!

(45 Posts)
QuiteQuiet Thu 22-Nov-12 21:13:39

I am having a few problems with my soon to be Teenager, he has always been a 'loner' or as his friend say 'a die hard xbox child', so now he has some friends, he seems to be trying way too hard to fit in with them.

I remember being a teenager (almost) but I never put my life at risk, maybe I am over-reacting but a few weeks back I had 4 boys for a sleepover... I know Crazy BUT I am single parent and my x didn't allow any children in the house, never mind a sleep over, something happened at this sleep-over and I am still trying to get my head round it, I have no idea if its a normal almost teenage thing but, it was quite bizarre and 'the friends' or 'the friend' (ringleader) who was responsible seems to find it hilarious, I didn't tell any parents are I felt the incident was my fault, but if I am honest it happened at 1.00am and I was in my bed reading and no idea what they were up to. I did keep an eye on them, they even tried to go out around 10.00pm and they were locked in and told to go to sleep sometime soon...PLEASE.

I guess what I am asking is this normal to try so hard to 'fit in' with the 'in crowd'?

My child almost did severe damage to his-self, some people I tell find it funny, I don't at all. No more 4 children sleep-overs ever!

TallulahTinsel Thu 22-Nov-12 21:15:54

What happened?

QuiteQuiet Thu 22-Nov-12 21:49:48

I am unsure if I want to say it is sooo bad.

They were experimenting with a science project via aftershave.... Is that enough information confused

QuiteQuiet Thu 22-Nov-12 21:52:37

and a child had a lighter... my son put a plaster on his arm as 'ringleader' told him too in case I told his mum, next day I found a burn, the size of my palm, straight to GP, minor injury but it could have been so much worse!!!

Unless they were wanking over a biscuit it was probably 'normal'

QuiteQuiet Thu 22-Nov-12 21:54:36

hmmm so spraying aftershave on my sons arm and setting him on fire is normal? Jesus christ.......sad confused

InNeedOfBrandy Thu 22-Nov-12 21:55:10

The boys all set fire to themselves in my secondery school. Their arms, legs and hands, bums and benches. They all thought it was so funny.

QuiteQuiet Thu 22-Nov-12 21:57:34

shock Really? OMG...... I never set myself on fire, okay I smoked trees and things and sneaky cigs under science desk via Bunsen burner but I never set myself on fire.

QuiteQuiet Thu 22-Nov-12 21:58:08

It is better now though.

No more sleepovers ever!! Naughty naughty children.

InNeedOfBrandy Thu 22-Nov-12 21:59:51

They used to set fire to bins and then ring the fire brigade too. And if you were round the boys houses you could never take your shoes off as your socks bobbles would be set on fire as soon as you looked away.

QuiteQuiet Thu 22-Nov-12 22:09:24

Oh okay, I guess this is a boy thing then grin

So I don't need to phone Social Services on myself ? The arm is better now, just a little bit red.

InNeedOfBrandy Thu 22-Nov-12 22:11:20

I would be very cross about it being indoors but it's def not abnormal.

Wommer Thu 22-Nov-12 22:12:25

And when they get chest hair it's HILARIOUS to turn all the lights of in a room and light it at the bottom so it all burns upwards! (Actually quite cool until the smell hits you!)

potatopotato Thu 22-Nov-12 22:13:54

Loads of boys at my school set fire to themselves like this hmm

QuiteQuiet Thu 22-Nov-12 22:17:55

hmm okay so normal-ish

They did get a lecture about 'new house, 3 weeks old, no contents insurance yet are you boys absolutely CRAZY, we almost lost our beds/curtains/furniture and would have to move to worst place in world etcc etc etc', then I turned to mine and said 'YOU ARE AN ARSE AND TOTAL ARSE GO TO SLEEP NOW' then they went quiet, I fed them bacon rolls and sent them on their way the next day.

maybenow Thu 22-Nov-12 22:18:09

yes, it is stupid, but yes, it is also normal.

QuiteQuiet Thu 22-Nov-12 22:20:37

I was tempted to phone the school if I am honest and also the thought of going to shout at science teacher did go through my mind, apparently this teacher tells them to 'experiment at home' I am sure he doesn't mean setting themselves on fire though. hmm

Anyway, 30 talks later and my son assures me he has 'learned his lesson' and he doesn't hang around with the ring-leader anymore as he didn't say 'I am sorry for setting you on fire'.

NatashaBee Thu 22-Nov-12 22:21:15

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Startail Thu 22-Nov-12 22:23:58

only alcohol vapour burns, looks spectacular, but shouldn't burn the skin. Just like flaming a Christmas pudding.

I've, accidentally, done it to a whole lab bench. Looked scary, but no harm done.

QuiteQuiet Thu 22-Nov-12 22:28:39

Okay I like these answers, I have been feeling like the worst parents in the world for a few weeks but have talked lots about fires and dangers of fire and lighters etc... so hopefully no more fire starters in my sons life, anytime soon.

I think I preferred the shy x box child but I realise he needs friends and I guess all boys/girls do silly things, he just had a glowing report card, so he has had lots of angry rows so I will leave him alone now.

Thank you... Oh and yes he has started tommytanking, all over a t-shirt, I asked for advice on this one, put some tissues in him room and suggested he hide it from me in future, please. blush

I don't usually miss a man being here but sometimes they would come in useful!

Maryz Thu 22-Nov-12 23:19:58

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ImperialStateKnickers Thu 22-Nov-12 23:27:16

So glad I ended up with dds... QuiteQuiet your ds sounds gloriously normal! Compared to the stories of 'what we got up to back in the dorm at (insert public school of your choice here)' I've heard when DP and his old school chums are halfway down a bottle of single malt, positively tame... All the best grin

QuiteQuiet Fri 23-Nov-12 00:55:55

Yes well I can only hope he has a fear of bridges like I did/do and says clear of the river and sea....

I just bought him a nice Lynx set via Tesco, I may hide that, give it to a brother or my Dad grin

I have no idea why I pointed 'DS use your Armani aftershave', I kinda meant after shaving... (yes he shaves he is over-developing - 12 years old and 6ft1 so I have to look up to him to give him a talking too) I guess this is why he is trying to 'fit-in', he thinks he will never have a girlfriend as he is too tall, I explained that by 18/19, everyone else will have grown up too and he will love his height, still no girlfriend until he 21 though hmm

I have gave him the 'condom' talk, rounding it up (sorry to ladies with DDs but I'm saving a young pregnant person here) I said girls are full of diseases, they may look pretty and sweet but you do not know where they have been, they may say they have only has 'relations' with one boy BUT where has that boy been, he has been round 16 girls, so most likely has a disease, so always protect yourself from the diseases.

That was followed by 'but what about a baby' shock jesuschristanothertalk by the time you have known a girl for 2/4 years you send her to be tested, to ensure she is disease free, then you can think about babies but we are talking 34 years old here, so, you will by then have been to University have a fantastically well paid job and a very nice car and a mortgage once all those things are in place you can think about 'a baby', you must give you brain a long time to develop, do not do what I did and get married at 21, I was not fully matured and neither was my brain....hmm End of...

'So Mum when you met Dad did you get checked?' angry

Of course not I wasn't a slapper/slut/slept around I had 2 long term relationship unfortunately one of them your delightful father spermdonor

'Oh okay Mum what about drugs'....[scared]. ...... I won't even go into the drug talk... heroin makes yo talk and walk slow and all your teeth falls out and you crave for the chemist daily as you get put on green stuff by the government and it sticks to your bones and your teeth your teeth fall out in 2 weeks, and the green stuff rots them away and eventually your brain cells and you die....basically all drugs make your brain cells freeze or your nose cave in, or speed keeps you awake for life and you never sleep again so you have to take pills for life for a 3 hour sleep, acid makes spiders crawl into your head and eats at the cells all resulting in the same - you die!!!

I think I am getting the hang of these teenagers children things. hmm

RyleDup Fri 23-Nov-12 01:09:27

Damn, I'm dreading the teenage years. It sounds, Scary.

QuiteQuiet Fri 23-Nov-12 01:20:29


I was terrified at first, I thought an alien had invaded my child. See they take the crap out of you constantly and start having random mood-swings over x boxs disc confused I now just talk it all out, I have learned, 'never take the piss' they take is very personally and try get you back via grandparents, well mine does.

I asked/toldmine 'do your maths homework please'

Child 'do I have to'
Me: Yes it... okay what is 5 x 5
Child:I don't know....
Me: Erm.. 5 x 4
Child: I don't know
Me: 2 x 5 (fuck he is thick as shit)
Child:Nope I don't know that either
Me: Okay we shall leave it until tomorrow (shit must get maths tutor tomorrow)

Next day...

Mum by the way I know all those answers you just annoyed me yesterday.... hmm confused

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