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Teenager wetting the bed after sexual abuse

(49 Posts)
Rachel9331b Tue 20-Nov-12 12:06:46

My name is Rachel and I've recently started wetting the bed every night due to bad dreams and flashbacks about the stuff that happened with my step dad. I think it might be because I have to go speak to the police again soon and it's bringing it all back. I've tried not drinking any fluids after 6pm and going to the bathroom before bed but I still wake up wet and I don't know what to do anymore. I live with my Dad cause my Mum sided with her husband over the abuse, saying she couldn't leave him cause she loves him. She would be the one I would speak to about this and I'm too embarrassed to go to the Dr about it.

Has anyone had any experience of this with their teens? And what do you think I should do? I'm really worried that my Dad finds out and gets angry cause I've ruined the mattress.

Thanks, Rachel x

HelenMumsnet (MNHQ) Tue 20-Nov-12 22:44:49


Hi Rachel
I think you are very brave to post on here. Where abouts do you live? If you tell us your general area one of us might be able to drop off the stuff and teach you to cook in person.

Evening everyone - and thank you for your many reports of this thread.

We're going to suspend it for a bit, to give us some time to reply to those who've mailed in.

We have no reason to suspect Rachel9331b, the OP, is anything other than genuine.

But we would caution you all, including Rachel9331b - and, as we would caution anyone - that it's always best to take extreme care when arranging to meet or get into off-board contact with someone you have befriended online. The vast majority of MNers are the most lovely, genuine people but, the internet being what it is, it is always worth remembering that not everyone is who they say they are.

CindySherman Tue 20-Nov-12 22:28:37

Rachel I am so sorry to hear if what you are going through. I really hope you get the help you need.

baskingseals Tue 20-Nov-12 22:26:13

Rachel - you are humbling me.

please see your gp. you can take a friend with you. please look after yourself. you are precious.

i will say a prayer for Caden's family.

Rachel9331b Tue 20-Nov-12 22:23:08

Thanks everyone for their support smile really touched!

This is completely off subject but if anyone here believes in a God of any kind, can you please say a prayer for Caden Beggan's family. Caden passed away today at Yorkhill Sick Kid's after a months long battle with meningitis and secepticimia, he was 6 years old.


Rachel xx

lostconfusedwhatnext Tue 20-Nov-12 22:21:01

Rachel please talk to someone in real life, I don't like to think of you worrying all alone, I would love to help you but I really think you need someone to hold your hand literally and I am too far away, plus you don't know me from Adam. At least get some bread and cheese and fruit, please don't eat, and please please please talk to someone. Big hugs xxx

baskingseals Tue 20-Nov-12 22:19:02

Rachel, i am so sorry about what you have been through.

do you have a nice gp? if you can i would try and see him or her and just have a chat about things.

scrambled eggs are nice, but you need more eggs than you think, at least 3 or 4, cook them on a low heat slowly with lots of butter. lots.

tonight i agree with chocolate, put a bin liner on the matress and then some towels.

sending you all the very best. take care of yourself. xxx

chocolatespiders Tue 20-Nov-12 22:11:50

you poor girl... to save you worrying about the bed, put a bin liner on the mattress and then a towel on top of the bin liner..

Hope things get better for you soon, you sound like an amazing strong young lady!

brighterfuture Tue 20-Nov-12 22:07:05

Rachel. I would be very wary of taking up offers of help in person off people on the internet. Don't give away your personal details. Only ever meet up in a public place and let people know where you will be. You sound like you are in quite a vulnerable place so please be careful. Find out if there is a rape crisis centre near you. I joined an inscest survivors course through them when I was in my teens and it really helped me enormously. One of the women I met in the group is still a best friend today. There is love and support out there for you.

dancemom Tue 20-Nov-12 21:35:07


I live in Glasgow, feel free to PM me, I have bed mats left over from my little girl I could give to you?

ThatBastardSanta Tue 20-Nov-12 21:19:43

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ThatBastardSanta Tue 20-Nov-12 21:18:50

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ratbagcatbag Tue 20-Nov-12 21:18:49

I'm guessing you're slightly older teen with you saying you can now fit in 14/15 yo clothes again.

This bit with the police feels really tough ( was abused by my uncle for ten years) but they are fab and supportive, it also turns out my dad knew as well, so I do know how hard this is. I remember the flash backs ad the nightmares and the sheer feeling if helplessness when all the family turned on me. But I did get through it and life gets easier, the flashbacks get less and I now feel in control. But I did hate the nt being able to at times.

Would your dad open post/ parcels? If not order some bits online, also online shopping is a good idea if you don't feel confident.

Please don't give in to hiding away though, it's so easy to want to shut the world out because you're worried what people will think or you will react in a certain way, it doesn't matter, it gets easier every time you make yourself do something that's hard. I wouldn't recognise the 18 yo me now and I'm only 11 years further on.

Pm me if you need to chat.

WandaDoff Tue 20-Nov-12 21:06:54

Are you still at school?

KeemaNaanAndCurryOn Tue 20-Nov-12 21:06:13

I'm pretty concerned about how your dad is away for such extended periods of time. It must be hard for both of you. I know that if I had to be away from my DCs for such an extended time, I'd be worried sick, especially if they weren't eating properly.

I know some people look down on them, but there are some healthy ready meals out there if you can't cook. smile

Fairylea Tue 20-Nov-12 21:04:02

Do you have a sure start or home start local to you? They might be really helpful and might even have a volunteer who has been checked etc who could come and help.

Are you an older teen? I hope so.

StickEmWithThePointyEnd Tue 20-Nov-12 21:02:45

Really, we need to know how old you are because then we can advise you of the help and support that should be available to you.

ArtexMonkey Tue 20-Nov-12 21:00:56

I'd be really careful about taking anyone up on an offer to drop things round to you, there's lots of very odd people on the internet, as I'm sure you know.

Superdrug had free delivery on their website recently, I think that might still be on.

BOFingSanta Tue 20-Nov-12 20:59:58

What does your court-appointed social worker say about it all?

Selks Tue 20-Nov-12 20:55:39

Can you tell us how old you are, otherwise we'll be worrying! smile

Rachel9331b Tue 20-Nov-12 20:53:44

I'm near Glasgow in Scotland.

I think my Dad tries his best but he finds its hard to cope with me being around cause he's not used to it.

Rachel xx

Fairylea Tue 20-Nov-12 20:44:17

Could you buy some online? Or one of us could send you some? Boots sell things online might be worth a go.

We're all here for you Xx

crazygracieuk Tue 20-Nov-12 20:34:44

Hi Rachel
I think you are very brave to post on here. Where abouts do you live? If you tell us your general area one of us might be able to drop off the stuff and teach you to cook in person.

StickEmWithThePointyEnd Tue 20-Nov-12 20:33:18

It doesn't sound like your dad is looking after you very well tbh. How old are you?

mumblechum1 Tue 20-Nov-12 20:25:58

Sweetie, just put a couple of towels on the bed for tonight. If you have a bank account so can order things online I'd suggest one of those bedmats which someone else mentioned.

Rachel9331b Tue 20-Nov-12 20:23:31

Thank you so very much for all your supportive messages! I've never really had anyone care like this, I think I'm about to cry!

Unfortunately I don't have any female relatives on my dads side and the aunts and older cousins on my mums side don't have anything to do with me since I've disclosed everything to the police.

My Dad doesn't really cook that much but when he does its always mashed potatoes (I now can't look at them!) I don't have a lot of confidence of going to the shops and getting food, I don't know why it just feels weird so I tend not to eat a lot when my Dads away which has lead to me loosing a lot of weight. The good thing is I can now fit into an age 14/15 clothes!

I'm terrified to go to sleep tonight in case I wet again, I wish I could get the courage to go buy some pull ups sad

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