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14 year old sexually active

(9 Posts)
Slothlorien Mon 19-Nov-12 15:47:53

Please help me to help a dear friend who strongly suspects that her 14 year old ds is having sex. His girlfriend is the same age. Of course she needs to communicate with him about it, warn of the physical and emotional dangers. But what to do next? Should she provide condoms? Should she speak to the girls parents? I don't know what to suggest. Anyone with teenagers and experience and wisdom to offer out there ? Thanks

Slothlorien Mon 19-Nov-12 17:47:01


44SoStartingOver Mon 19-Nov-12 17:51:46

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

fifietta Mon 19-Nov-12 18:38:32

As the parent of a 14 year old girl I would definitely appreciate being contacted by the boyfriend's parents if they thought the relationship had got to that stage. In my experience boy's parents seem to have a 'head in the sand'/more laissez faire attitude than girl's parents do, with their understandable concerns about maturity, what it involves emotionally, not to mention pregnancy.

Talk to the boy and talk to the girl's parents would be my advice. And if they're not having sex it can't be a bad thing to have made contact.

Slothlorien Mon 19-Nov-12 20:18:18

Thanks for replies. sad isn't it.

loopylou6 Tue 20-Nov-12 16:00:49

Hmm tough one. I was having sex at 14 and was pregnant by sixteen. Luckily it worked for us as in we're now 30 and 31 married with 2 DC, I am however, aware that we're in the minority.

My parents never spoke to me about sex, Altho tbh I doubt it would've stopped me.

My advice would be, that your friend has an open and honest discussion with her ds, he needs to hear all the facts from her, pregnancy, sti, emotions etc, she won't be able to stop him having sex if that's what he wants to do, but she can at least equip him with as much knowledge about safety and letting him know he can talk to her.

xMuffins Tue 20-Nov-12 18:41:57

I would speak to the girls parents definately. It could he worse, at least they are the same age. I think the key here is communication. X

Wowserz129 Tue 20-Nov-12 18:48:52

To be honest it's sad and it's wrong but no matter how much you can speak to them, the chances are they will still do it.

Where are they meant to be having sex? I assume she doesn't allow them in his room ?

Slothlorien Tue 20-Nov-12 23:07:27

They have time in the house alone after school, but before mum gets in from work I think. Thanks for replies.

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