Have posted on here about being worried my dd1 may be taking drugs/legal high. Now found out she has not only spent the thousand pounds she had in her bank when she went to uni (her money) but also got herself an overdraft and has a thousand spent from that !! Found out when a ten pound dd she pays to me weekly for her car insurance didnt go in so I opened the letter that came to her the same day. I am horrified and can only think it must be on drugs. Her rent is paid and we sent her loads of food when she started so not on that, even if it was that's an awful lot. Called her and she firstly denied it then said she has been going out a lot - she is home tomorrow and I have told her I want the truth. Help ! I am at my wits end.
Junk food & Alcohol. You would be shocked at the amount students can spend on one night out; £150 easily. Yes I bet some of the money has gone on the 'm-cat' but I bet a lot has just got frittered away; i.e. she probably isn't a 'junkie'.
Apart from opening her post (big invasion of privacy & illegal too) you are doing the right things. Don't bail her out with money but do give lessons on money management and perhaps bail out with food/clothes if really necessary.
Hopefully she will come to her senses before failing the first year at uni and having to resit....
Stop bailing her out. Speak to your ex so that you are both guiding her together. Quite honestly, I am not surprised this happened - her rent and her food was paid so this was "pocket money". Keep her up to still owing you £10 a week for her insurance - that way you will know if she has any money and teach her responsibility. and you will not need to look into her post - a disgraceful action! Teach her to budget. If she runs out of money it will be a very big lesson - hard, but important.
Oh dear. I did this back when I had my first year of uni. It just went on food/booze/nights out. Just used to withdraw £20 from the bank all the time. My mum was fuming when she found out, petrified, like you, that I'd taken drugs or something. I just was too young really.
She got me a new account (not student) and I had to pay my loan to her. Then she used to put in £65 a week into my account (that way I had money in the holidays as well). She made me get a job and all wages went right into paying off my overdraft for my student account (she cut up my card).
It was the best thing that could have happened, although some would say heavy handed treatment for someone who is 19! I was unhappy and homesick and didn't know how to budget properly. Bless her, I remember my mum calling me and I felt so sick, thought she would really hate me forever. Looking back it's silly really, 2 grand isn't loads and loads of money in the scheme of things. The important thing is to ensure she doesn't do it again, and she can be open with you in future, as a friend of mine at uni got a terrible loan as she was in debt and too afriad to tell her parents. It all spiralled totally out of control.
As for money, they don't realise (until you tell them) exactly how much they are spending. My daughter got through £260 in the first week. She was as shocked as we were when we told her. My hubby (as agreed with daughter) has access to her Bank account so we can keep track. She has LOADS of nights out so it's not surprising.