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Teenager self harming and suicidal

(10 Posts)
Onthesofa Tue 30-Oct-12 13:35:31

my 17 year old daughter has been self harming since November last year! She has thought about suicide and has it all planned out how she is going to do it. I recently found a suicide letter in her room and a diary describing how she is feeling. She feels that she is fat and ugly, and doesnt deserve to live.

We took her to gp some months ago and she attended counseling for about 5 sessions and was then discharged. I am very concerned about her and not sure how to deal with this.

She acts as though nothing is wrong, but I know when she is alone in her room it's a different story.

millymaid Wed 31-Oct-12 12:32:28

Hi I hope you are getting some urgent help with this. Does your GP know about the letter you found? You and your daughter need all the help you can get so please make sure your GP realises how serious this and how worried you are.

You could also try calling young minds, they will know about what services are available in your area and will be able to help you just by talking about your own worries and fears.

My teenage son has severe depression and anxiety so I know that sometimes people find it hard to tell the difference between normal teenage behaviour and a mental health problem, and your friends and family may give you bad advice about how to respond. Insist on some professional help asap!

Meanwhile keep showing your daughter your limitless unconditional love even if she seems not to want to know. Good luck!

happystory Wed 31-Oct-12 14:22:11

Did you get referred via CAMHS? In our experience we were referred for 'counselling' but it was a bit wishy washy and not really helpful. I would go back to the GP. It's horrid, I know, and so worrying.

gemblags1980 Wed 31-Oct-12 20:58:23

Hi
Sorry you are going through such a terrible time, having worked with families in a similar situation, i would advise trying the following, although please remember that not everything works for everyone.
A) you could chat to your daughter about accessing the pastoral support available in her school / college, or is there a teacher or member of staff that she gets along with who could support her to get the support she needs.
B) if she doesn't go to school or college are there any charities in your area that offer support to young people and or you yourself, these services are usually free or subsidised
C) if you use google you may discover some telephone helplines / charities that can advise your daughter and you yourself on the specific issues of self harming
D) I know you probably already do this, but if you can try and create some time in the day to do things together during the day to do things that will allow you all to do things and talk as a family, not about what is happening, this is just to keep lines of communication open
E) keep going back to GP and other services to see if she can get seen as more of a priority ,
Good luck, I have I boxed as well Gemma

MaryZcary Wed 31-Oct-12 23:42:35

Go back to the gp, straight away.

Show him the note and tell him of your concerns (in fact, if I were you I would make an appointment for myself to talk about it and then a second one for her).

Is she fat and ugly? I know that sounds stupid, but is it possible to boost her ego by joining a gym/getting fit/having her hair, teeth, whatever done?

She needs to feel better about herself, either with medication, or counselling, or doing some activity that makes her feel better.

Onthesofa Thu 01-Nov-12 10:27:20

Thank you all for your support and suggestions.

I've spoken to her yesterday and she assured me she is absolutely fine and that she is "all better now". I told her I'm not convinced that she can get better so quickly and that she should come and talk to us anytime. I'm confused!

She is not fat and ugly, she is a size 8, she does skip meals or just has something small saying she's not hungry!

cornybeefhash Thu 01-Nov-12 10:30:46

young minds are very helpful - you could give them a call

mdgraphicstalk1 Thu 01-Nov-12 16:43:07

ok I may not be a mum of any kind i am only 15 and i was going through exactly what your daughter was going through, well i felt the same way. me personally i think another teenager can help another, mums of a daughter going through this type of trouble you wont understand. but if your saying shes a size 8 she has absolutely nothing to worry about. you need to sit down and chat to her as much as you can about this problem because she obviously looks at herself way differently. you need to do something as soon as possible and when i mean that i mean not to contact guidelines and that you need to watch how shes eating because shes going to find herself turning anorexic and she will get very sick and i'm sure you don't want that sort of thing for your daughter.

Maryz Thu 01-Nov-12 16:55:37

I think md is right - if she is a size 8 and thinks she is fat, and is skipping meals, then the potential to get much worse is there.

Do you know any of her friends well? Is there one of them you could talk to, not to "spy" on her, but so they can keep an eye out for her.

mindfulmum Thu 01-Nov-12 17:23:39

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

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