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teens and exam support

(9 Posts)
booksinbed Sun 14-Oct-12 17:24:23

Help! Ds took ist part of gcse s a while ago and most of subjects fine exept maths were he got a much lower grade than anticipated and he re sits in two weeks.he is th sort of boy that is happy to talk about high grades but not lower ones.he gets v grumpy and it is as if he rejects us and gets v cross re his lower grades as if he feels that we value him less for them - which we take pains to tell him we value him for who is is etc.Yet he always focuss es on his good grades and makes his lessgood onesa no go area.we wonder if he did enough revision for one subject and want to support him but he tells us to leave it to him and dont we trust him.we appriciate he will be nervous and want to support him for eg if he needs addional support etc.there has been no evidence of revision yet .when we mentioned it to him he went ballistic and said leave him alone - he is a self starter and we have never had to ask him to do hoemework etc but something did go wrong in his maths and we want to suppport him .maybe supporting him i sleaving him alone..?? he is very tough on himself and is his own worst critc and we just want to be there for him if he is struggling but we get clear leave me alone signals.i worry that his confidenc is knocked but he will not let us in- not that we hav e been harrasing him..it is like trading on egg shells.do we just leave him alone- even tho he may be struggling- ring school- insist on revision evidence ??i do trust him and he is a lovely person but im not sure he is handling this and i just want to support him.please help if you have been there !!!thanks

lljkk Sun 14-Oct-12 17:39:39

"insist on revision evidence" sorry, that does sound rather pushy.
Is he 16?
Might be better to ask "What can I do to support you?" and do what he says so that he knows you're there for him whatever the outcome. Even if that means chatting about X-Factor rather than his revision schedule.

booksinbed Sun 14-Oct-12 17:48:08

when w e have asked how can we support/help - he says leave me alone.we have only asked once and said we are here is you need us- but we are worred that he does not have the confidence to start his revision or face it ...and that he wd not tell us if needs help...support ;hugs etc.we have stressed to him we are there or him whatever thr outcome .....

booksinbed Sun 14-Oct-12 17:48:49

ps he is 15

lljkk Sun 14-Oct-12 18:13:39

You can lead a horse to water but you can't make it drink.
I imagine that anything you can do to boost his mood & confidence are good strategy. Nice meals, offering cups of tea, small compliments, social opportunities, etc.

booksinbed Sun 14-Oct-12 18:56:57

thanks lljkk- have been doing those things - feel a bit better !! thought wasnt helping.we are sitting down tog with meal in a min with tv.

basildonbond Sun 14-Oct-12 20:27:07

I share your pain....

ds (15) was supposed to be doing preparation for his history course work today - apparently he could only think of three sentences to write about the first part of the question (topic = Falklands War, not much to say about that then ...)

however he has managed to look at 435 separate web pages in that time, including watching most of Pulp Fiction ...

aaaaaaaarrrrrrgggggghhhhhhh .....

I've been doing the tea, biscuits, anything I can do to help stuff - obviously to no avail

he's one of the dumbest smart people I know ...

zamantha Sun 28-Oct-12 13:26:33

Know the treading on egg shells bit - they can be so touchy! Want to avoid what they find tough - just talking about it whenever the mood is less stressy is my plan! Asking for 30 mins work at a time.
Am battling with similar problem re: A'level Maths.

cory Sun 28-Oct-12 19:31:15

Know all about treading on egg shells. Dd lost nearly a year of school in Yr 10 due to a combination of chronic pain and anxiety/depression, is now desperately trying to catch up in Yr 11. Maths exam just round the corner. Very hard to adjust from straight A expectations in 12 subjects to having to scramble desperately to get pass marks in 5 so she can apply to college at all. She's had to drop her two favourite subjects. And her depression isn't cured anyway, so it is still a struggle for her just to get out of bed. Half term next week and she is getting very stressed because she knows she can't handle being alone and having to organise her own work.

Oooh yes, we know about egg shells.

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