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(5 Posts)
3childrenX Tue 09-Oct-12 19:56:10

I'd like my 18 year old to contribute to the household. He's coasting at school, has a part time job but rarely goes (no work available apparently!)..I'm grateful that he's not out partying, but how do I change his unmotivated, ungrateful attitude??? Gggrrrrr!!!
He buys his own toiletries, but seems unwilling to work as well as go to school (where he helps with lots of clubs etc - his justification for not doing anything outside of school). I'm on my own and on Income Support with two small children..don't really want to continue to support him financially if he's gonna be lazy at school AND workshy! HELP!!!

mrsfuzzy Tue 09-Oct-12 23:33:43

at least he's still at school even if he is coasting and therefore persumably working for qualifications, a part time job is good and even if he doesn't do much, his boss wouldn't keep him on if it was that bad, i realise you are finding it difficult on benefits and two young kids to support, but give him some credit it least he is involved in school clubs and using his time constructively, maybe he could help you around the house with some shopping, bit of hoiuse work, or even baby sit so you could have abit of time to yourself, you sound worn down and need a break, get your son on board and see what happens, if he feels you are on his case and he'll only dig his heels in,

BackforGood Tue 09-Oct-12 23:39:56

I'm inclined to agree with MrsFuzzy - that doesn't sound like an 18 yr old to be worrying about to me.

ripsishere Wed 10-Oct-12 03:04:24

He sounds OK to me. I do believe the thing about the work. I've a nephew who works PT. He is unable to get a full time job, despite living in London and being very diligent and a hard worker.
Some weeks he gets four hours, the next it could be 44. Bonkers.

3childrenX Wed 10-Oct-12 14:14:51

He is still at school, which I am grateful for..he's retaken a year to improve his results (of E's and Ungraded)..the trouble is, he hasn't done anything differently, but expects different results..I do feel like I'm being a bit harsh..but should he be happy with another grade E after three years A-level study.??? He does occasionally babysit, and things could be much worse..he doesn't seem like a usual 18 year old, you're right! I'm lucky that this is all I've got to moan about with him..I just don't understand his 'not wanting to work hard (in or out of school)' attitude..I'm not sure it would frustrate me less if I did understand! Thanks for your advice up to now..x

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