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my teenager has grown up it makes me sad.

(14 Posts)
mrsfuzzy Sun 07-Oct-12 13:46:02

last night there was alot of bin bags outside the room my eldest shares with her younger sister. " put it in the bin or to charity" she announced when i asked her, when i went in her room to see her later she had cleared out nearly everything she owned, posters were down, fluffy toys off the bed, cupboards cleared out, most of her clothles, she is now into goth big time, she's nearly 18 and in college doing well, she has the moody strops like most teens but otherwise seems happy with a good social life, still it was the realisation that my little girl is growing up and it makes me feel sad, am i being silly or do most mums go through this?

MedusaIsHavingABadHairDay Sun 07-Oct-12 14:28:23

I watched my son drive away yesterday in his first car.. he's 19 and I wanted to run down the road shouting 'come back you aren't BIG enough to drive yet!' grin

I then worried myself stupid until he texted me to say he had arrived at his friend's safely! A fortnight ago my DD2 left for University, DD1 already having gone, and we are now redecorating the girls' room ...I keep finding abandoned stuff and like you it makes me feel a little sad. The years have flown by!

mrsfuzzy Sun 07-Oct-12 14:49:16

thanks medusa, while i'm lucky to have 4 other kids at home besides d1 i,m still doing the tissues, at least she's still here i guess and that's nice, hope all works out well with your brood at uni etc, i guess it'll be "mum, er, about my washing, bank account etc,"

gingeroots Sun 07-Oct-12 16:44:56

You might feel worse if your teen was still stuck in the same rut ,friendless ,no social life ,no motivitation ,no desire to go to uni ....

mrsfuzzy Mon 08-Oct-12 08:30:09

that is so true ginger i,ve read an article last night of a single mum whose 20 year old, refused to take any furthur education after 16, and refuses to sign on benefits because its beneath him to do so. mum does three jobs to make ends meet and shes in pieces, the so called dad doesnt sound much better either and has never had a proper job although he's 37!!! i am lucky as you rightly say, what would you do with a adult child like that?

amillionyears Mon 08-Oct-12 08:35:14

Most of us go through this.
It is another stage of being a parent.
They are not really proper goodbyes.
She will almost definitely be back quite often,after you have got a bit used to her being gone,and are quite enjoying aspects of your new life.

claraschu Wed 10-Oct-12 05:23:29

I would save some special things out of the bin bags. She doesn't want them now, but she might feel differently in 20 years.

mrsfuzzy Wed 10-Oct-12 10:27:46

thanks clara i did what you suggested, i rescue her bear she had when she was a baby and a couple of other bits, so i'll keep them safe, and i feel happier now.

amillionyears Wed 10-Oct-12 10:31:17

Oh good. smile

mumeeee Wed 10-Oct-12 14:55:55

Well DD1 is married and lives in London.DD2 finished in Uni in June she has stayed up in Kinston with some of her friends from Uni. So they have both left home completely. DD3 is 20. Still at home and in her last year at college. She has learning difficulties so is a bit behind her sisters. She is looking to go to Uni next year and we've started the rounds of open days. I'm taking her to Grenwhich on Saturday. It will seem strange if and when she goes. I really don't know where the years have gone.

amillionyears Wed 10-Oct-12 19:22:11

yep.Someone should have told us that when you have a baby,they are only more or less ours till about 14 if your are lucky. After that you part share with friends for about 4 years,and after that they may just about be gone.
I do have to add here,as I and others were politely told on a thread a few months ago,to think of those parents with kids with SN.
Hope everything works out fine for all your DDs.

slipperandpjsmum Thu 11-Oct-12 12:07:25

I know exactly how I feel when I look at my 6' something ds I remember when he was a tiny baby who used to sleep on my chest and it feels sad at the loss of that lovely little boy. I look at pics of him on his first day at school and it seems like yesterday.

I am so proud of the wonderful, caring man he has turned into who still has a cuddle every now and then. Then I feel very lucky.

FamilyAngel Thu 11-Oct-12 22:23:25

Hi You are not being silly. I work with parents and teenagers and many mums go through a period when they 'morn' the little girl or boy they have lost. Although sad it is very understandable and very normal.

FamilyAngel Thu 11-Oct-12 22:23:44

Hi You are not being silly. I work with parents and teenagers and many mums go through a period when they 'morn' the little girl or boy they have lost. Although sad it is very understandable and very normal.

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