Hi I'm looking for some advice ...how to deal with teenagers who do nothing around the house demand money all the time are rude to their mother ...their father died a few months back ...mum basically gives them what they want..they don't respect her ...she's the taxi ..bank and general skivvy too them ..they r 13 girl and 15 boy ps not my kids niece and nephew ! Any advice would be appreciated their mum wants to " run away "
Tell the Mum to hang on in there and not to "give them what they want", or should that be "what they think they want".
Their Dad's death is no doubt playing a huge part in what's going on right now - grief makes us behave in all sorts of ways that we might not recognise in ourselves years later. And especially at their young ages.
They need to understand that Mum, too, is desperately sad and make effort, young though they are, to pull together.
Hope the Mum is getting lots of support and love - I bet the kids love her to pieces. It's so true that we often lash out at those we love most ....
Being rude and selfish is in a teens job description, so that is part of who and what they must be.
Sorry for yours and your families loss, as the other poster said this has probably played a hugh part in this - with mum feeling guilt about them not having a father and them not knowing which way to turn.
Time for saying no or ignoring requests so things stay more normal and mum must need support in not feeling guilty and being able to say no to lifts and money requests.
Have they been as a family for any help with their grief?
They have had counselling which helped a little ...problem is the mum never saying 'no' and wanting to be a best friend and not a parent ..kids r getting more than £200 a month each pocket money and still want more ..they have started refusing too go to school as they are upset ..but not upset enough to go out with friends etc... Think they get "upset" in school depending on the lesson if they can't be bothered doing double maths ..but she can't see this..