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Teens and money/pocketmoney

(33 Posts)
mrsm68 Wed 19-Sep-12 12:16:09

I have a DS 15yrs and DD 16yrs.

DS has a paper round and he also gets money from us on an adhoc basis. This involves most days him saying 'can I have some money?' This I find very annoying, yet when I think about it, it probably only adds up to at most, £30 ish per month because it is often a pound here and there and then occasionally £10 if he is going out somewhere (cinema etc). He is not good with money and tends to ask for stuff all the time. To which he gets a no unless of course I feel he needs it, ie new shoes, clothes essentials. He is currently saving his paper round money to buy his girlfriend a birthday present then Christmas present.

DD has just started college and is said to be looking for a part time job all though this has been very half hearted so far. We pay £20 into her account by S/O each month and this is all she has. She rarely asks for money and has very little interest in shopping. Now that she is at college though the expense has increased with bus fares and wanting money for lunch because it is too embarrassing to take a packed lunch like she did at school. When she wants to go to town to meet friends she asks me to take her and pick her up but if I suggest that she gets the bus and pays with her own money she is very put out and we end up arguing.

This situation was never thought out or planned, it has just evolved over the years. And looking at it now written out it seems a bit unfair and unbalanced.

I admit that I have been soft with them over the years, never made them help at home to earn their money because it was easier to do it myself than put up with the grief that I would get from them.

What do you all do, what system do you have in place? Any suggestions would be good.

mysteryfairy Fri 05-Oct-12 20:30:03

Gettingeasier I always feel like it is wrong because I feel like one of those over 18s going into the off license for their younger mates. Also I think shops aren't allowed to sell you alcohol if they suspect you are buying it for a minor to consume. Somehow I don't feel as guilty if no money changes hands!

TequilaMockinBird Fri 05-Oct-12 20:34:26

My DD is 15 next month and gets £40 a month to buy clothes, make-up or whatever. I also pay for her phone contract and she gets £3 a day for lunch.

I think you're being a bit mean tbh, sorry.

NulliusInBlurba Fri 05-Oct-12 21:10:58

I think it's really important to give teenagers some independence with their budgeting, but also the responsibility of knowing that once it's spent, there's no more.

When DD1 turned 12 I set up a standing order and a bank account with a card for her (before that she'd had a savings account). She gets 50 euros monthly (around 40 to 43 quid?), and that has to cover:
school meals, calculated at an average of 2 euros per meal based on 190 meals per year
presents for friends and family
clothes (eg t-shirts), but excluding large items like winter coats or boots
toiletries and personal stuff
trips eg to cinema with friends

It doesn't include: phone costs - her contract mobile is part of our family package and costs around 10 euros pm for unlimited texts and 200m talk time. If she went over this I would ask her to cover the extra costs, but it's never happened.
Her monthly transport ticket, which is paid via standing order

Generally the system has worked well, although I do end up buying toiletries like deodorant still as part of our weekly grocery shop. I've told her the amount she gets will not increase over time (maybe a small increase for inflation) - if she wants more money over this amount she'll have to earn it with babysitting or tutoring. She's currently 150 euros in credit, which means she'll have enough for Xmas prezzies and can spend a bit now on winter clothes. Having this autonomy really seems to have taught her financial caution.

She's 14 now, and when DD2 turns 12 I'll do the same thing for her. It might not work for everyone, but it's been a success (so far) for us.

BackforGood Fri 05-Oct-12 22:03:29

It's not mean Tequila, it's living within your means.

SecondhandRose Fri 05-Oct-12 23:13:42

DD 13 gets £10 a week but must keep her room looking nice. DS 17 gets £15 a week but has never received it as he lives like a pig and chooses it that way so gets nothing except his phone and the rest he earns from internet advertising.

gettingeasier Sat 06-Oct-12 09:01:10

mysteryfairy I know what you mean ! I hate that random people will go and buy alcohol for teenagers for a couple of quid but I suppose I just am hopeful that I am in some way as I am his Mum its ok wink

achernikov Sat 06-Oct-12 11:54:59

DS1 is 15 and gets £50 a month. He mainly uses it on cinema trips with friends or ps3 games. We buy him clothes that he really needs, say a winter jacket or new shoes, but he has to pay for new t-shirts or jeans, things that he already has more than enough of!

mumeeee Sat 06-Oct-12 16:55:20

Mumblechum. I would never have been able to afford £200 a month for my DDs. DH and I don't spend that much on ourselves.

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