My teenage friendship

[savana1]

Hi ti mums,

I am a mum of 15yrs old daughter, She's absolutely gorgeous she looks normal and pretty so kind and down to earth, but she has a social difficulties.
Is breaking my heart. She is very sad & isolated, She does not drink, smoke, do drugs,alcohol or sex. She is a great listener she has no close girl friend to hang up with.(sad)
it's make me heart break and to much painful to see my daughter in tears sad and upset lonely !
Plaese replay me if any mum living around and intersted to conect my daughter with your daughter.

[TheBeadle]

I know how you feel. One of my daughters was a real loner from starting secondary school until very recently, 3y in total.
I was distressed for her but realised that she didn't socialise as she didn't find anyone in her peer group who she had anything in common with and to be honest I was proud that she preferred to go her own way rather than try to fit in with people she didn't like or respect.
I felt the same about my peers at that age although was a bit more flexible with 'letting people in'.

I would imagine that when your daughter goes to college/uni or starts work she will find people she likes and who like her as she'll be making choices about where she goes etc and the others will be making the same choices so common ground already established.

[Theas18]

Get a hobby and commit to it. Schools offer so many clubs and there are many outside school too. She has " social difficulties" but if you are partaking in a sport, art club, taichi or what ever then there is little social chat till you get settled into the group.

Its a greay way of meeting people " like you".

[hopefullyhelpfuladvice]

Perhaps she would get on better with boys? I was at a girls school til 16 and loathed it, I also spent a long time crying to my m mum about having no friends. The moment I moved to a mixed sixth form college and met a group of guys my social life transformed! They're still some of my best friends now and offer just as much friendship and support as female friends I have met since. As a teenager I think I found them much less judgemental than girls.

[bevelino]

Hi Savana I know how you feel and I have had lots of discussions with my dd's about friendships. We were all 15 once and friendships blow hot and cold at that age. Just today I have had to comfort one of my tearful dd's who has had a big drama with friends at school. With my dd's I encourage them to engage in lots of extra curricular activities to enable them to have friends away from school. My dd's do not have special friends but enjoy a wide circle of friendships with both boys and girls which is far healthier during the turbulent, teenage years.

[iknowwho]

What about getting her involved with Youth Forums?
Or maybe doing the Duke of Edinburgh Award?

These things will get her involved with people her own age without the friendship pressure. The friends side of things will naturally evolve and develop as she gets to know people.

Get in touch with your Young People's Service (or Youth Service) and ask them if they do any Youth Action or Forums for young people.